February 2007


I’m sitting here waiting for the furniture delivery people to get here with our nightstands and pub table set.  I’m not sure which I’m more excited about, but I bet it’ll depend on which room I’m in at the time.

Without meaning to, I keep finding myself watching the Anna Nicole Smith trial.  These people are all sick, and I must be equally so to watch this misappropriation of justice.  Bozo the Judge is a joke.  I don’t know where he went to law school, but I think it might have just been in his own head.  This case is supposed to be about who gets to bury Ms. Smith where, not about drugs or paternity.  Those subjects have absolutely no bearing on the question of who gets custody of her body.  It’s totally out of control.  Incidentally, the judge (Larry Seidlin) was reportedly in talks to get his own courthouse show.  Good Lord, he just swore in a man over the phone whom he has NEVER met in person!  Shepard Smith said, “We have just entered a parallel universe!”  Truer words have never been spoken.  Oh, the man is Daniel Smith’s father.  How sad.  This is the kind of thing that does absolutely nothing for my faith in humanity.

 Don’t get me wrong – in general, I am very impressed with people and the hard decisions they make and the tough rows they hoe.  I mostly think that people are good and want to do good and make the world a better place.  But then sometimes, I have one of those days where I’m pretty sure I’m the only person in the grocery store who has never been to jail or cheated on their taxes or had a warrant out for their arrest.  Those are not good days.  I hope someday I’m able to live up to my own expectations for the rest of the world.  Rich tries to do something every day to make himself a better version of himself.  I’m not so good at that – I fall into old patterns and I make the same mistakes over and over.  It’s hard to change!  I want to, and I think we should all expect more of ourselves.  Think how amazing this world would be if we all did that!

I hope that wasn’t soap-boxy.  Knowing all of my own flaws, I don’t think I’m in any position to tell anyone else how to live or what to do with their lives. 

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Things are getting better in my mouth.  I finally had a pain-free day yesterday which was beyond nice.  The only thing that’s really freaky is my stitches are coming out and haven’t quite dissolved yet.  So whenever I take my flipper out to brush and floss, there is this white stuff that looks exactly like floss hanging out from behind my tooth’s former home.  That’ll make your stomach turn.  What do you do with it?  Do you pull it out?  Do you get the wee tiny Swiss Army knife and trim it?  Do you leave it alone and wait for it to dissolve … someday?  I’m going with option three and ignoring it for now.  Urgh, that gives me the heebie jeebies.

Eeewww, another thing that’s giving me the willies is all this stuff about Anna Nicole Smith.  I had the news on in the background while they were discussing where she and Howard K. Stern had looked at burial plots.  He was talking about plots in the Bahamas and her concern about bugs getting into the ground plots.  I’m out!  I changed it to CNBC.  I’ll watch the market behavior until I work out (when will that be?  I seem to keep pushing the time back today – but it will happen today).

Speaking of working out, I have had to work out like a mofo because of the shower and a general Forget-I’m-on-a-Diet day.  I am so sore!  I was very good yesterday though, so today should be a nice, easy day with just one Firm tape and no extra cardio.  My legs will thank me, I think.  Those tapes are a bitch on a regular day, so on a sore day, well, we’ll see!  At any rate, I have until March 4 (ice dance test date) to lose 2.8 pounds.  That’s not much time at all, so I need to be very good.  If I make that goal, I will weigh ten pounds less than I did at my last ice dance test, and I’ll have ten pounds to go.

I slept in this morning and haven’t really done anything yet.  It’s wonderful!  I’ve been reading TV show recaps for Battlestar Galactica and Heroes over on the TV Guide website, reading blogs, and checking the weather forecast.  So I have quite literally done nothing this morning.  That will change pretty soon as I have to work out and clean and things like that.  At some point, I really need to call the maids on my list as well as the gutter people.  I’ll worry about that later though.

I have proof that I live in the country (Rich says we live in the suburbs, not the country).  Aside from the fact that there are like ten ranches across the street from where I live, there was a sign on the Feed Store (there’s a big clue!) that said, “It’s time for corn gluten!”.  What does that mean?  Being a city girl, I don’t know, but apparently it means something to people around here.  Hang on, I’m going to google it.  Okay, apparently it’s used to get rid of weeds.  You put it on your lawn, and it takes care of pesky weeds.  Hunh.  That doesn’t sound very ranch-y to me.  It actually sounds kind of Martha Stewart-y.  Well.  Maybe I don’t live in the country.

I went to Anjelica’s baby shower on Sunday.  My sister was one of the hostesses, and being nine weeks pregnant, she is apparently unable to pick up anything that weighs more than her water bottle.  My mom said that soon she’d have to hire someone to carry that water bottle.  It’s ridiculous.  I really get annoyed by people who act like pregnancy is an illness.  You can pick up a Pyrex pan with stuffed mushrooms in it while pregnant!  She also is in the habit of blaming the baby for bodily functions.  It’s like now that she’s pregnant, she can burp and fart in public and it’s okay because the baby makes her do it.  Uh, no, that is NOT okay.  I kind of knew she’d be like this because she is very dramatic about everything, so why would pregnancy be any different?

Yesterday somebody typed the word “ass” in a search engine, and my blog popped up and was viewed.

Somebody else typed “nutritional bars gross” and got me.

My non-puking streak of six years has come to a sad and tragic end.  Last night at three a.m., I asked Rich for a painkiller and a glass of apple juice.  My blood sugar was low, low, low because I didn’t eat doodly-squat yesterday, and my mouth was killing me (we’ll get to that in a moment).  On the bottle of Vicodin, it clearly states to take with food or milk.  Apparently, while in my world apple juice is food, it is not so in the pharmaceutical world.  And I’m lactose intolerant, so milk was out of the question!  So for the next hour and twenty minutes, I had the cold sweats and prayed to the Puke Gods to let me go for the evening.  Oops, too late.  They had me.  At 4:18 a.m., I was talking to Ralph on the big white telephone, driving the porcelain bus, praying to the porcelain god, etc.  It was horrid.  All it did was remind me of why I could never be a good bulimic, why I don’t like to get rip-roaring drunk, and why I don’t like painkillers.  And there I was, thinking I was more than halfway to a decade without a barfing episode.  Damn.

Okay, the dentist appointment … I don’t remember much, thanks to the Halcion.  I do remember taking the second one at the office, but I don’t remember getting to the office.  I remember being very cold, and I remember Dr. K saying, “Okay, it’s out” in reference to my former tooth.  Oh, and I do remember asking for my gloves because my hands were freezing.  We got Smoothies on the way home and I have a little memory of eating mine (couldn’t drink it because you’re not allowed to use a straw after an extraction).  I don’t remember getting home or changing into jammies.  The next thing I remember clearly is waking up on the couch.  I emailed Duke, but I don’t know what I said, but from his reply, I know I asked about his ankle (he says it’s fine and not to worry) and I said something about painkillers (he said to enjoy them).  I don’t keep copies of sent mail, so the actual content shall remain a mystery.  Most of the rest of the day is foggy.  That’s a very bizarre feeling.

At some point last night, I decided it would be a good idea to take out my flipper (which is not like I thought it would be – it’s basically a retainer with a tooth and without a wire on the front of your teeth.  So I now talk like a twelve year old with a retainer.  This is doing nothing to help me as I already sounded like a five year old).  I took it out, felt the stitches (oh yes, I have stitches in my mouth, ack!), saw blood, rinsed, and lastly spit.  Then I got really upset (drugs) and went crying to Rich.  He was like, “You took it out?  You aren’t supposed to take it out.  Why’d you do that?”  Oh dear, yet another thing of which I have no memory.  I had no idea I wasn’t supposed to take it out.  I can today, but I was supposed to leave it alone for 24 hours.  I also wasn’t supposed to rinse or spit until today.  Oops, my bad.  It was all on the sheet they gave me.  The sheet I didn’t remember getting.  Great.  Luckily they told Rich everything I was supposed to do and not do, but when you’re allowed to go to the bathroom on your own, and you’re me and very curious, you’re going to fuck it all up.

Another thing I didn’t realize was that I wasn’t supposed to do anything for two days but rest because of the stitches.  I was all set to go skate this morning and was setting my alarm last night when Rich said that I couldn’t.  War ensued, and I lost due to puke.  It’s maybe a good thing because I felt like crapola this morning.  I did feel bad for cancelling on Duke though.  One question about that though – if I wasn’t supposed to do anything because of my stitches, then why are hockey players able to get stitched up and go right back out on the ice?  Hardly fair.  *grumble*

My mouth hurts like a mofo, but I’m not taking anymore Vicodin.  Those little shits ruined The Streak!  Plus, I’m going to have to workout like crazy tomorrow to make up for this.  Two days of doing nothing but sitting on my ass.  Not good!  I did go to Target today though.  I bought this jacket, which quite frankly looks better on me than it does on this poor girl, and this skirt.  Well, sort of that skirt.  Mine has grey dots on it, but they didn’t have that one online.  This one is the same cut though.  There is a cute shirt that goes with the skirt, but I didn’t get it.  To fit my boobs, I had to go up a size, and then it was huge everywhere else and looked all wrong.  Stupid big boobs.  I have shirts at home that I can wear with it though.  I really love the jacket – it’s too cold for it now, but soon it’ll be perfect!

My sister comes into town tomorrow for Anjelica’s baby shower!  My son and I are totally excited to see her and her baby bump.  He’s so excited about his cousin-to-be.  We were at Starbucks today, and he was calculating how old he would be when the baby was certain ages, and how old I would be as well.  Ick!

My dentist appointment for having my bits of tooth removed is tomorrow at 9 am.  I’m going back and forth between freaking out and being okay with it.  The parts that freak me out are: 1) The shots – but mostly before the shots when they put the local on.  That stuff reeks and it makes me need to puke.  If I smell it when I walk in the dentist’s office, I pretty much want to hightail it and run. 2) The sounds.  If there is one sound that sends shivers up my spine, even if I’m only thinking about it, it is the sound of a tooth being forcibly removed from my mouth.  3) The Halcion.  I’ve never taken it before, and I’m worried it’ll make me barf.  Everyone says no, it’ll be fine, have some apple juice with it (that’s all I’m allowed – no breakfast, suck!).  But since I’ve never had it before, I wonder what my reaction will be.  My only other experience with a sedative is some Xanex before a flight.  I couldn’t feel it doing anything, so I took some more.  Then I felt good.  So good, that I, Big Chicken, actually slept on the flight.  That has NEVER happened.

The parts I am okay with are 1) Getting it over with.  I’ve known for a while that this needed to happen, and now I won’t have to worry about it anymore. 2) Having a normal looking mouth again.  I have not enjoyed my time as a toothless hillbilly, thank you very little.  Plus, my job as a female ice dancer is to look pretty (the man’s job is to put me where I belong.  Exactly where that place is depends, I guess, on if he’s mad at me or not).  It is very hard to look pretty in this state.  I can only three-quarters smile.  Not good!  They’re putting something called a flipper in, which from what I gather is something like a temporary bridge.  I’ll have that for the ten months or so that it takes to do the implant process.  Did I mention I have to have a bone graft?  ARGH!!! 3) Not feeling jagged broken tooth bits with my tongue anymore.  That has been nothing but unpleasant.  So all in all, despite being a horrible experience, the end result is, I suppose, worth it.

Okay, enough icky tooth stuff.  It’s time for mushy Valentine’s Day stuff.  Rich gave me the most beautiful sapphire and diamond heart necklace which is set in white gold.  People at skating were oooing and aahhing.  I love it!!!  Best boyfriend ever (EVAH!)!!!  I gave him a weekend trip.  We’re going to Glen Rose, TX to a bed and breakfast (which is actually in Granbury, but it’s close to Glen Rose) where we will go to Fossil Rim Wildlife Park and Dinosaur Valley.  I think he would’ve rather gone to Shreveport to play poker, but that’s not very romantic.  We’ll do that some other time.  Casinos depress me, but that’s a subject for another day.  Anyway, I’m really looking forward to it.  We haven’t gone on a trip together since we went to that scary wedding at the Precious Moments chapel (seriously, WTF were they thinking???).  I hope he’s excited too!

I learned a new turn today – a backwards three turn from an outside edge to an inside edge.  I can’t do it by myself yet.  I tend to get to far over the front of my skate which makes me scratch my toepick on the turn.  That’ll bring you to a stop real fast.  I also do that thing I do where my hip goes all Betty Boop on me.  I don’t get it – I don’t do it in ballet or while walking or anything else, so I don’t know why I do it on the ice.  We did some dance figures that I got from an online ice dancers group that I belong to, and we worked on Dutch Waltz since I flunked it last time and I have to retest it on March 4.  We’re going to have some of the rink big-wigs look at it soon and see if they can see any errors in it. 

All right, it’s time to go work out.  I’m watching season one of Lost while on the treadmill now.  It makes it go way faster!

This one is courtesy of Eden at So Anyway (see my blogroll).

last cigarette: It was when Rich and I broke up for a couple of days which was sometime this fall, but I don’t remember when exactly.
last car ride: Does this mean when someone besides me drove?  If yes, Saturday.  If it was when I drove, last night.
last kiss: About fifteen minutes ago (Rich is working from home today).
last good cry: I’m not sure.  The one during my lesson a while back wasn’t a “good cry”.
last library book checked out: Hunh.  I think I lived in Houston, and I think it was a Candace Bushnell, so it was like five or more years ago.  I was in a saving money fit.
last movie seen: Pan’s Labyrinth
last book read: Still reading “Paint it Black”
last cuss word uttered: Fuckity fuck fuck
last beverage drank: water
last food consumed: yogurt (can you tell I’m on a diet!?!)
last crush: Josh Holloway
last phone call: This morning
last tv show watched: Heroes last night
last time showered: Oops, haven’t done that yet today (still have to work out), so that would be yesterday.  Wow, between my tooth and lack of a shower, I’m really making my Wee Me look like a big fat lie.
last shoes worn: running shoes yesterday
last cd played: 30 Seconds to Mars “A Beautiful Lie”
last item bought: Ooo, having to think hard.  It was either groceries or skating gloves.
last downloaded: I have no idea.  No wait, I do know.  It was Google Earth.
last annoyance: My right outside edge is sucky.  My left one is good.  It annoys me to no end that they’re not equal.  To clarify for the skating gods, I would like them to both be like my left one!
last disappointment: The scale today wasn’t great.  I’m up 0.6 pounds and I’ve been working out like crazy.
last soda drank: On Saturday, I had a diet Dr. Pepper at lunch.  This is rather shocking since I don’t usually drink anything but water, but the water was all in tiny bottles and seemed like a huge rip-off.
last thing written: Part of my novel that I’m working on.  Unless you want to count this entry.
last key used: Car key
last word spoken: Mmm-hmm
last sleep: Last night, but I slept til 10 am.  I was very tired.
last im: Friday
last sexual fantasy: yesterday.  No details, sorry!

last ice cream eaten: Blue Bell Peppermint in December
last time amused: Last night while watching High Stakes Poker.  It’s like a sit-com really.
last time wanting to die: I have no desire to die
last time in love: Now
last time hugged: About twenty minutes ago
last time scolded: Saturday night when I was having a hissy fit over my tooth
last time resentful: Saturday night when I was getting scolded
last chair sat in: My couch.  Last actual chair would be the dentist’s chair.
last lipstick used: My everyday lipstick.  I can’t remember what it’s called.
last underwear worn: I have them on now – they are Christmas undies with a candy-cane stripe border.
last bra worn: A white sports bra
last webpage visited: High Stakes Poker on wikipedia for the link.  The last one for fun was Astronomy Picture of the Day.

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