I just realized today that I have been bouncing around in the same two-pound loss range for a month (that is, a total of seven to nine pounds lost depending on the day, but no real progress).  That sucks so much ass that I cannot even say how much ass it sucks.  Damn it!  I’m pissed!!!  Something has got to change to break that cycle.  I suppose it would help if I could figure out the cause of the cycle.  It honestly could be my birth control because I’ve had some problems with break-through bleeding since my last period in February and they’ve had me double up my dose until my next period.  So in addition to not being able to lose any real weight in a month, I am ultra hormonal.  How fun for people I know!  Well, it’s not fun for me either, grumble grumble.  The good news is that the doctor said I could go back to taking my pills continuously so I won’t have a period anymore again, thank goodness!  I just have to have this one last one which is going to be like a chemical D&C from all the extra pills.  It’s going to be ugly!

You know, if someone told me when I was fourteen that one day I would willingly write about my period in a public forum … yeah.  No way!

Skating stuff:  I had lost my forward outside three-turn on the right leg until today.  I found it again, but I can’t do it with any push at all.  I seem to be crooked on my entrance.  If I go into it with no speed, I can correct it, but if there’s any speed at all, I just carry right past the point where I should turn.  It’s very frustrating!  I must’ve drilled that turn for thirty minutes today, but it was getting a wee bit better.  Hopefully tomorrow I’ll get it all straightened out.  My new mantra is “fuck it”, so maybe that’ll help.  So long as I don’t say it right as I pass the judges, that is. 

I need to get better at pushing myself past my comfort level though.  I have a tendency to stick around in my happy place when I really need to be pushing myself much harder.  Duke will tell me, “Push or I will,” and that makes me push on my own because he’ll push way harder than I will!  He seems willing to take somewhere between my happy place and his push.  Like on backwards crossovers together, I’ll say “My speed or yours?” and he’ll say, “I’ll take somewhere in between”.  And then everyone’s happy!  Well, for a couple of seconds anyway.  I overheard another coach tell a student to go to their happy place, and then go one step beyond that for the day.  Then the next day, the new high is the happy place, and you go a bit further, and so on.  That was over the summer, and Duke said pretty much the same thing on Wednesday.  I was really trying to do that on my Power Three-Turns today, and it seemed to be working, particularly on the left.  I’ve got to get that right one down though.

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