My twelve-year old son is playing Oblivion right now which is, in my opinion, the best game ever!  He mentioned that his guy was “totally pimped out”.  Oh dear ….  That sounds really bad when it comes out of a kid’s mouth.  Of course when I looked up at the screen, I saw he was only telling the truth.  His dude had on a gold medallion.  I wish there were a way to give him some chest hair and a shiny disco shirt.

I was sick this morning and missed my lesson.  It’s starting to feel like life will never be on track again.  Last week was so fucked up.  I had high hopes for this week starting out well, but no, it sucked.  Maybe tomorrow will be better.  I need to have some fun, and my lessons are generally fun even when frustrating.  But you know, I’m glad I have them.  If I didn’t have ice dancing, I’m sure that a) I would weigh more than I do and that would be totally unacceptable, b) I would be as bored everyday as I was today, and that just means trouble, and c) I wouldn’t be learning something new and challenging which means I wouldn’t be living life as it’s meant to be lived.  Now having said that, I think I have a ways to go in the living life category.  I’d like to travel more and do things on trips that are once in a lifetime opportunities.  Really what I’d like to do is go on Amazing Race.  That would be awesome!  I used to want to do Survivor, but I think the lack of food would be a HUGE problem.  Part of why I was so sick this morning was my blood sugar was too low, and that was just from one day of not eating enough.  So you can imagine what many days of not eating enough would do.  I’d be utterly useless and voted off.  That’s the other nice thing about Amazing Race – you don’t get voted off.  So you’re relying on you and your teammate and that is all.  If you piss people off, they can’t kick you off the show.  Not that I’m planning on pissing anyone off or anything like that, but hey, you never know.  Anyway, it’s hard to go on a show like that if you refuse to go on an airplane, so for now … pipedream!

The getting voted off concept has brought a train of thoughts to mind – I wonder what it would be like to experience me from the outside?  I’d like to know what it’s like to be around me.  I know it can be frustrating to be around me because I’m all over the place and my attention span sucks.  My sister is like a tornado, and I think I’m a calmed down version of her, but maybe I’m just a somewhat quieter version of her.  Or maybe not – maybe I’m just as loud as she is but I don’t realize it.  She’s so funny though, and I don’t think I’m as funny as she is.  And what does my perfume smell like to other people?  I know what it smells like to me, but is that the same as what other people smell?  What do I do that annoys the crap out of people?  What do I do that they like?  I don’t know what I’d do with that information even if I had it, so I suppose in the meantime, I’ll just be me and people can deal with it!  Damn, that sounds ornery.  Maybe people think I’m obnoxious!

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