My kid has the snottiest smart-mouth on the planet.  I kid you not.  If snot-nosed bratisms were an Olympic sport, I’d live vicariously through him for that gold medal he would surely bring home.  He was being totally obnoxious in the car on the way home from school yesterday, so I told him that it would be in his best interests to stop talking for the rest of the day.  Of course he didn’t.  So I said, “When we get home, I want you to look up the word ‘belligerent’ in the dictionary and write a paper for me on why you’re acting that way, why you shouldn’t act that way, and what you can and can’t get out of life by being belligerent.  You may not write down the definition plus a bunch of synonyms.”  Heh.  This is my new favorite punishment.  If you’re going to be an ass and get yourself sent to your room, you’re going to get a good vocabulary out of it.

Okay, so he goes up to his room and returns a few minutes later with the dictionary and claims he can’t find ‘belligerent’ in the dictionary.  I said to sound it out.  Nope, he wouldn’t try again.  So I took the dictionary, found the word, and read him the definition (hostile and aggressive).  Well that pissed him right off.  “I’m not those things!” he shouted.  P-shaw, yeah you are!  He then flat-out refused to write the paper (perhaps ‘obstinate’ would’ve been a better assignment).  I told him to write it (and please, I only wanted one page, so we’re talking thirty minutes max) or he would be grounded until Sunday.  He chose grounding!  Chose it!  My gosh, I used to beg my parents to spank me rather than ground me so it would be over with faster.

So my ex calls me this morning wanting to hear what had happened because he got the munchkin’s version on their way home last night.  Shockingly, he thought even last night before hearing my side that the munchkin was wrong!  I couldn’t believe it.  Ex is always saying that I’m too strict and I need to loosen up, etc.  Not this time!  He said the mouth is totally out of control, and what’s more, he would keep the grounding up at his house as well.  Whoa!!!  I’m still floored hours later.

I will say that the one thing that sucks about the grounding is that I really wanted to go to IHOP (don’t laugh, I heart IHOP) on Saturday after my figures class.  I may still go and leave Mr. Mouth at home.  He’s twelve; I think he can handle it.  What’s really sad is that my Wii is supposed to be here on Saturday, and he won’t get to play.  Life’s tough kid!  On the other hand, we have a bowling tournament this weekend for Organ Donor Awareness that he gets to play in – I’d take that away too, but my mom would quite literally kill me considering she helped organize it; plus she had a liver transplant, so it’s kind of an important deal around here.  So it’s not like he’s not getting out of it a little bit.

Speaking of IHOP, I wish there were more independent restaurants in the Dallas area.  Like when I go see my sister in Austin, there are so many great indie restaurants.  Austin Java(warning: loud website) is a favorite.  They make these pancakes that are so giant that they hang off the plate.  I can’t finish one, and I can eat the crap out of some breakfast food.  My sister loves the potato omelette.  Then she gets a junior pancake as a side.  The junior doesn’t overflow the plate, but it does fill it.  Dang, it is a lot of food!  They have awesome coffee as well.  There’s nothing like that around here.

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