For dinner tonight, Rich made chicken on the fake George Foreman (it’s this huge Hamilton Beach thing).  What does that take, like ten minutes (this becomes important in a sec)?  I don’t know since I won’t use the damn thing.  And this is why: have you ever cleaned one after cooking with it?  Oh dear garsh.  Ack!  First I had to dump out the little fat collecting tray.  Did I mention that he used some sort of marinade on the chicken?  Yeah, so there was fat plus grease-laden marinade.  Eeewww!  Then I had to wipe out the excess marinade and fat combo off the grill part.  Eleventy billion paper towels later (uh-oh, isn’t Earth Day coming up?), I was ready to soap it up.  Unfortunately, there was still grilled-on chicken ick and grody marinade-fat mix stuck to it.  I thought the soaping process would help get that crap off, but alas, it did not.  I had to resort to using my fingernails which had been ruined earlier today in the process of weeding my yard (I think the builder gave me weed sod rather than grass sod).  Yuck yuck yuck!  Thirty minutes later, I deemed it clean enough.  I’m afraid to look at it again as it’s probably just like the yard – I thought I got all the weeds, but on second look, no.

The fake George Foreman wasn’t my only little cleaning treat.  He also made rice.  Okay, I buy Success Boil-in-the-Bag rice.  You put water in a tupperware bowl, put the rice bag in, stick it in the microwave, and ten minutes later you have perfect rice.  I don’t think he read the instructions because somehow he used two (???) pots to make the rice.  There was a bunch stuck in there too, and then he used a strainer so that had rice bits all hermetically sealed to it.  Holy shit.  Now, in his defense, the food was awesome, and I enjoyed every bite!  I just didn’t like the clean-up job so much.

I just saw a Nivea ad for anti-cellulite cream starring girls with the skinniest legs on the planet.  Hello!  Okay, I know skinny people get cellulite (Haley on American Idol had it for Pete’s sake.  I wanted to put tights on her so badly!), but please.  Let’s be realistic.  If you’re going to advertise cellulite cream, do it with people who are at least average sized.  Dove uses real women in their ads.  That seems to be okay.  On the other hand, the thought of heroin-chic skinny women with cellulite pleases me greatly!

The munchkin is having a bit of trouble with the concept of being grounded.  It’s not like it’s the first time he’s been grounded, but you’d think it was.  After dinner, he asked me what I wanted to do.  I said, “Well, I thought I’d read.”  He wanted to play a board game.  Uh, no.  You’re grounded, little dude.  No games for you!  He thought it would be okay since he vastly prefers video games.  This is what I get for doing things like paroling him for good behavior in the midst of previous groundings.  Eeeshk, I have him this weekend too.  That’s gonna be fun!

Advertisements