Okay, the search term “I have two pee holes” has once again been used to find my blog.  Seriously, I kid you not.  Is this a real condition?  How would that work?  Would you pee out both holes at the same time?  Or would you be able to control which hole the pee came out of?  It would be like taking turns with your tatas while breast feeding.  I’ve gotten really curious about this whole thing.  It’s like when we were playing trivial pursuit when I was a kid, and the question “What is hemipenes?” came up.  With great relish and a wicked grin, my dad answered, “Dual whippers!”  I was horrified, and yet I had to know more.  Yikes!

My coach is out of town for two weeks.  I could just weep.  I hate it when he leaves!!!  Everything he has ever taught me goes right out the window, and I turn into a quivering lump of inability for whatever length of time he’s gone.  To add to the fun, I’m going to get my skates sharpened while he’s out so he at least doesn’t have to go through those few days of complete freak-out with me.  Freshly sharpened skates suck so much ass.  You have to dull some of that edge off before you can skid stop, so for a couple of days you have to just let your momentum wear off and then kind of run yourself (softly) into the boards.  It wasn’t so much an issue with hockey skates.  I wonder why there’s a difference?

I forgot to tell one little break-up story.  When Ex-Boyfriend gave me my key back, he was so careful not to touch my hand.  I thought how strange it was to go from having such a touchy-feely boyfriend to having an ex who was afraid of any contact.  I wondered which he feared more – my reaction to a touch, or his.  Or on the other hand, maybe since he broke up with me, he’s decided I’m utterly repulsive and didn’t want to touch my hand because of that!

I’m almost finished with Anne Frank’s diary.  I had forgotten how insightful and funny she was.  It makes me so sad.  She was an incredible writer, and so young!  It’s like on The Amazing Race when Joyce and Uchenna were at Auschwitz, and he mentioned all the books that were never written because of the Holocaust.  I think Anne Frank could’ve written beautiful books.

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