My ankle is sprained.  They’re making me wear one of those ridiculous giant boots, but just for a week.  I feel like an idiot, especially when people stop me and ask what happened.  I’m like, “Oh, it’s really nothing.  I just sprained it.”  The next question is inevitably, “Does it hurt?”.  Uh yeah, yeah it does.  Otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered going to the doctor to see if I had a stress fracture.  Seriously last night, it hurt so bad I almost threw up.  Now I don’t say all that to the kind little old ladies who ask all this, I just say, “Yes ma’am, it does hurt.”  In the meantime, I’m going to be sitting on my ass getting fat.  Yay.  I’m so excited.

Anyway, somehow I ended up in the bookstore.  I don’t need any more books!  I’ve written about this before – I have over 100 books that I haven’t read yet, but I went and bought some more.  I guess this is what I’ll do until I’m allowed to run again.  I bought the following:

1. Mugglenet.com’s What Will Happen in Harry Potter 7.  I started that one as soon as I got home despite the fact that I’m currently reading Prep and Lipstick Jungle.  Hey, who doesn’t need to read three books at once?  That’s not at all confusing.

2. John Updike’s Terrorist.  After reading The Reluctant Fundamentalist, this one looked interesting.

3. Laurie Notaro’s There’s a (Slight) Chance I Might Be Going to Hell.  I got this one for a couple of reasons.  One is that she’s hilarious.  I mean, what’s not to love about a woman who writes books with such titles as We Thought You Would Be Prettier and I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies).  She is beyond funny.  The second reason is I thought for a moment that I was looking at the title of my own autobiography but then remembered I’ve not yet written it.

4. Tom Perrotta’s Little Children.  They keep advertising the movie on Video on Demand, so I figured I should read it before I watch it.  I don’t like doing it the other way around.

5. Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita.  I’ve been meaning to read it for years.

6. Ken Kesey’s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.  I’ve been meaning to read this one too, and someday I’ll get around to watching the movie as well.

So see, I do have good reasons for conspicuous consumption.  Or at least I can justify it to myself.  It’s not my favorite thing about myself, but I never buy clothes so I figure it’s okay.

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