So my coach is on vacation (sort of – he’s actually in Albuquerque teaching, but it’s vacation from me, so there you go), and I started out just great.  Normally when I skate, I wear regular tights with black leggings over them, and the black leggings go over my boots.  Well, today I wasn’t wearing the black leggings due to a laundry issue (as in I didn’t do my laundry), so my laces were out in the open.  I went on the ice for my warm up and caught my toe pick in my own skate lace.  Needless to say, I fell.  The weird part was that I somehow fell on my ass rather than forward as I tripped.  Still can’t figure that one out.  Nick was just dying laughing at me.  Luckily I was laughing at me too, so I didn’t have to get all mad at him.  Retard Monday strikes again!  At least I remembered to take off my skate guards.

My sister and brother-in-law were in town this weekend.  On Friday night we went out for Anjelica’s birthday.  I got lost on Lower Greenville, like so far down it had turned into Munger.  It’s a weird part of Dallas because Swiss Ave. is right there, and it’s all foo-foo-shi-shi-la-la, but then like a block before it is crack houses and whores and stuff.  I called Kim to figure out where I was, and she’s screaming, “Turn around!  You’re going to get shot!!!”  Yeah, we’re too white for our own good.  Stupid girls from the suburbs.  I finally found them at this little hole in the wall bar where for whatever reason the bartender really liked us (maybe it was me walking in with a giant present saying, “Why in the fuck was that so hard?  Damn it!”), and he gave us free shots that tasted like Strawberry Shortcake, yum.  Then we went to dinner at Simply Fondue.  It was very good, but a lot of work.  Afterwards, we went back to our new favorite bar and had more free shots, yay.  They had a band playing, and they weren’t bad.  Anyway, the whole time we were on the lookout for Anjelica’s ex-boyfriend.  He is, and I do not say this lightly, the biggest waste of human flesh on the planet.  The man doesn’t have one redeeming quality, and he’s breathing my perfectly good oxygen.  Now why Anjelica picked an area right across the street from where he “works” I could not begin to explain.  And by “works” I mean hangs out with his new girlfriend who owns the tattoo parlor where Asswipe stands around and does no work.  Whatever.  All I know is we should’ve been having fun celebrating her birthday and hanging out, but everyone kept looking over their shoulder to see what Asswipe was doing.  He was standing on the street, smoking and wearing this retarded-ass hat that he insists on wearing all the time.  Tool.  I’m not wasting any more breath on him.  There’s a Simply Fondue in Addison along with plenty of bars.  We should’ve gone there instead.  It was fun except for that bit.

Saturday we spent at my parents making the invitations for a baby shower my mom is giving.  Anjelica and Stacy and their babies came over too.  I ate a whole bunch of candy corn.  I love that stuff!  Later that night, my mom went to a meeting and got her five year chip, so while she was at that, we went and got cake and ice cream and flowers.  Then we ordered pizza.  This was not a good weekend for my diet.  Kim decided it should be dinner and a show, so we watched Britney’s VMA performance since I somehow had not seen that, and then we reached a new low as we watched “Dick in a Box” with my parents.  More specifically, with my father.  Oh dear god.  I’m sorry, but the Kwanzaa part with all the thrusting just never gets old.

On Sunday, we went to the State Fair.  As expected, there were some interesting people there and lots more bad food.  I had Ballpark Nachos and cotton candy.  I didn’t weigh in today out of fear.  Anyway, we rode a few rides, but not anything that went in multiple directions.  As Kim put it, “A traveling carnie with a third grade education put this stuff together.  Do you really want to ride that?”  Not anymore!  By the time I got home, I was totally exhausted.  So I started to take a nap on the couch, but I woke up to a crunching sound.  My dog was eating a chip clip.  Dude, you can’t have that!  I got it away from him and went back to sleep.  I woke up again to him eating a catalog.  He’s so pissed at me.  Today he tried to eat my arm.  I guess he wanted to be more included in all the fun this weekend.  I’ve got dog guilt now.  Oh great, I just looked behind me and he has eaten his duckfish (a fish that quacks.  Weird).  There’s stuffing all over the family room along with the catalog bits.  Maybe I should go clean!

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