I just watched Pushing Daisies.  I loved it, loved it!  What a wonderfully weird show.

Weird stuff I can do:

1.  I can roll my tongue over on both sides.  I’m working on a new trick where you keep your mouth closed with your tongue out and roll it from all the way over on the one side to all the way over on the other side.  It’s supposed to look like your tongue is spinning.  I’ve not quite mastered it.  It’s a lot harder to do all that rolling with your mouth closed.  Oh, I can also make my tongue look like a five-petaled flower.

2.  I can do the splits.  See what good girlfriend material I am?

3.  I can do cartwheels, handstands, and backbends.  I will be 38 years old soon, so please, you should be so impressed.  Today my little girls at the rink got me to do a handstand where my legs landed on the high part of the skate counter (like where my knees were bent and my calves were on the counter).  Then you’re supposed to pick up your hands and hang for a “handless handstand”.  One small problem – I’m about a foot taller than these kids, so my head was on the ground.

4.  I can rub my tummy, pat my head, and wiggle my tongue back and forth all at the same time.  Yep, more tongue tricks.  I seem to specialize in tongue and age-inappropriate gymnastics.

5.  I can be completely, totally, and actually overly full, and yet still find room for dessert.  Dessert goes in a different part of your body than regular food.  Perhaps a dessert pocket?  I can, in fact, be sick to my stomach and still contemplate what to eat.  When I was in labor, I was thinking about the strawberry shortcake I had eaten earlier that night.  I wanted somebody to go get some more.  I really love food.  Particularly pie.  I think part of the reason I loved Pushing Daisies so much was because the guy was a pie maker.  I got to see a whole lotta pie.  Yum!

Weird stuff I cannot do:

1.  I can’t raise just one eyebrow.

2.  I can’t wiggle my ears.  My sister can though.  Trust me, it cannot be taught.  Unless she’s sabotaging me so that she can be the only one in the family to have wiggly ears.  Scandalous!  Both of our noses wiggle up and down when we talk.  I crack up if I’m watching her talk from the side.  The tip just goes up and down like crazy.

3.  I can’t reach one arm behind my back and the other over my shoulder and touch my hands.  This frustrates me to no end.

4.  I can’t sing.  That in and of itself isn’t weird.  The sounds that emerge from my mouth are.  Oh, it is so bad!

5.  I can’t hear without glasses or contacts.  Not like I totally can’t hear – it’s just my ability seems lessened without good eyeballs.  I don’t think it’s a lip-reading thing because I can hear fine with corrected vision when I can’t see your face (like you’re in front of me talking over your shoulder).

6.  One more even though it makes my lists uneven and that will annoy me … I can’t bend my top thumb joint backwards.  My thumbs are ramrod straight.  A friend in college, Carrie, once tried so hard to make my thumbs bend back that she almost broke them.  I was screaming bloody murder, and she was like, “They have to go back.  THEY HAVE TO!!!”  Uh no, they do not have to.

I’m going to tag this as a game so other people can play too!

Advertisements