I was doing pretty good this week, diet-wise.  I think at one point I had mentioned that I was supposed to lose three pounds while my coach was out of town, and he comes back on Monday.  Since I hadn’t lost anything (and in fact had gained two, oink oink), I thought I ought to get on task.  I managed to lose three pounds this week, but since I was up two, it was really only a loss of one.  So what do I do?  Do I go, “Great!  That’s a good start,” and keep going with the good behavior?  Noooooooo, not me!  I go, “Awesome!  Now I can eat!”  Stupid.  Stoooooopid!

I think it would’ve been fine if I had taken a bar or something to the rink, knowing I was skating an extra session today.  Nah, I’m not that smart.  I only got halfway through the extra session when I had to stop.  My legs were shaky, I was starving, and if I stayed any longer I was probably going to hurt myself.  So I left and popped into Starbucks.  This is fine as long as I don’t eat anything more than 100 calories with my coffee, meaning wait until I get home and have a banana or some grapes or something.  I didn’t do that though.  I ordered one of their chocolate chunk cookies which are good, but quite frankly, not as good as mine (though I can’t make mine right now because I don’t need the temptation of raw cookie dough).  You know how many calories are in one of those cookies?  380!!!  Unfuckingbelievable.  I just found that out.  I seriously wouldn’t have eaten it if I knew that.  My guess was 250 which was bad enough.

The unfortunate thing was that I didn’t stop there.  It was a binge-y day.  I did eat a nice normal dinner of salad with tuna on it, but I also ate Pirate’s Booty and dry cereal.  Several bowls of dry cereal.  I’m sitting here at the moment kind of hating myself for lacking so severely in the self-control department.  I can say to myself, “If you behave, you’ll be on maintenance sooner!” until the cows come home, but I seem to only be able to behave for about three days before I totally lose it and pig out.  Urgh!  God, that’s frustrating.

The worst bit of it is that I really really really needed to be good because this weekend is our Fakesgiving.  How will I ever behave in the face of Fluffy Pink, candied yams, and apple pie?  Oh, don’t forget about the mashed potatoes and rolls (I am a carb fiend).  Plus, just for fun/extra torture, my grandparents are taking us to the club on Sunday for brunch.  They seriously have the best brunch ever.  Mmm, waffles … yeah, and I have to be good.  Fuck!

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