Or perhaps I just became a Longaberger home consultant.  Yep, either way, I drank the Kool-Aid.  God help me.  I’m also an Arbonne consultant, and I imagine that the Longaberger thing will work the same way – my customers will be me, my mom, and my sister.  Why branch out and actually try to make any money?  Personally, I like to come in last in all sales, goals, etc.  That way, some woman who really does give a shit but who sucks ass at sales can come in second to last.  That’ll make her day.  See what I do for people?  Surely this will get me into heaven (assuming I’m forgiven for conspicuous consumption of baskets and eye cream).

We had our Fakesgiving this weekend (lots of people thought I was Canadian when I told them about our early Thanksgiving, but no, I am not – theirs was a week earlier).  It was actually lots of fun.  The food was beyond awesome. 

Besides stuffing myself silly, I got to go to two parties.  One was Friday night, and was at my sister’s house.  It was Game Night with Jason’s friends.  I played this game on the PS3 which involved being an amoeba and eating stuff.  It was very relaxing.  The second party was the Halloween party which we dressed up as geishas for.  I have pictures but haven’t put them on the computer yet.  Actually, I haven’t loaded the software on the computer, and I can’t do it on my laptop because it doesn’t have a disk reader thingee.  So I’ll have to do it on the upstairs computer, and that’ll take motivation.  I have none at the moment, so eh, maybe tomorrow.

The people who had the Halloween party (I’ll call them Jim and Andrea) were really into Halloween.  There wasn’t a surface in their house untouched by a decoration.  They also made a haunted house in their garage.  After many arguments, I finally got Kim to agree to go in it with me.  Andrea told us, “You don’t control the flashlight.  It controls you.”  I had no idea what she meant until we got in there and our light would randomly shut off.  We’d keep walking, the light would turn back on, and we’d be surrounded by heads hanging from the ceiling (or arms or what looked like police batons.  I’m not sure what the fear factor is there, unless you happen to be like me and have an irrational fear of cops taking you to prison where you won’t have access to tweezers.  Unacceptable!)  We laughed and laughed through the whole thing.  Well, it was more like we’d scream, then laugh, then scream, then laugh again.  By the time we went through, we’d also met most of the people at the party so we knew who it was jumping out at us.  That kept the freaking out to a minimum.

Anyway, Andrea the hostess was really nice but also very odd.  She took me and Kim into her office and showed us all these pictures of herself when she was younger and 50 pounds lighter.  Kim said that Andrea always does this.  She gets drunk, and then it’s like “Glory Days”.  The pictures were beautiful though.  She could’ve been a pin-up girl in the forties.  She had that kind of face and figure.  I also saw a picture of Andrea’s mother who apparently was a Bond girl back in the day, but I can’t figure out who she was.  I only saw one picture of her and it was dark, but I gotta say, she was stunning.  Kim also said that Andrea doesn’t like going to other people’s houses.  She’ll have all the parties in the world at her own house, but if she has to go to someone else’s house, she won’t talk.  At all, which was shocking to me because she talked ninety to nothin’ at her own party.  She went up to the guest room at Kim’s house and slept during one of my sister’s parties.  I was like, “Why go then?”  I mean, if you don’t want to go, and you’re going to pull a dumbass stunt like that, then just don’t go.  I asked Kim if Andrea felt bad that night or something, and she was like, “No, that’s just what she does.  She’s weird.”

I managed not to gain any weight over the weekend.  I’m not sure how, but yay.  Today I discovered a new drink at Starbucks.  It’s just a regular ol’ Caffe Latte (soy, of course), but it saves me 80 calories of flavored syrup.  It’s not bad at all.  I put a couple of Splenda packets in it after I tried it, but I could’ve had it without.  I was just in the mood for something sweet.  What I’d really like is some candy corn, but that’s not gonna happen.  There’s not any in the house, and I’m not going out!

Okay, it’s laundry time.  Maybe I’ll install that software while I’m up there.  We’ll see!

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