My ex-husband is a douche.  I had forgotten that little tidbit because we had been getting along so well recently, but he’s up to all his old tricks again.  I can’t rehash it because I’ll get all pissed off again which will lead to more stomach issues and perhaps more zits in even more unmentionable places.  Though now I feel I need to explain.

Okay, so first of all, he’s getting remarried on December 1st.  This is fine – hopefully she will be able to fix a couple of these issues, but if not she’ll just be one more person on my list of people who can kiss my ass.  Whatever.  The problem here is the honeymoon.  I knew they were going on one.  Who doesn’t go on a honeymoon?  Oh right, I didn’t.  I guess that’s what I get for being seven and a half months preggers when I got married.  Anyway, with the wedding fast approaching, the other night I asked Ex if they were going on a honeymoon.  He said yes, they were leaving on the 2nd and coming back the 5th.  Okay, well, what about Munchkin and school and all that?  Oh, it turns out he thought that Munchkin would just stay here and I’d take him into school.  I’d have no problem with that if school started at, say, ten.  But it doesn’t.  It starts at 8:30.  It takes me 45 minutes to get from here to school when there’s no traffic.  At that hour though, I think it would take over an hour.  That’s fucking ridiculous.  So Munchkin is going to stay with his grandparents since it’ll take them five minutes to get to school.  I got pissed because he didn’t even ask me – I had to ask him, and he just assumed.  Don’t get me wrong – I would love to have the Munchkin all the time, but I don’t.  And I can’t ask Munch to alter his schedule to that degree.  He would be a miserable child.  He’s one of those kids that really has to have maximum sleep.  What I really want to know is when Ex was planning on informing me of his plans.  They affect my kid, and they affect me.  So that’s inconsideration number one.

Number two is that he keeps leaving me out of school stuff.  Like progress reports and activities and whatnot.  Somehow that information never makes it to my house.  Then, when Munchkin has another not-great progress report in English, Ex goes and makes a parent-teacher conference appointment without consulting me about it or finding out a good time for me to go.  So what happens is that he tells me at the very last second that there’s a meeting, and it happens to be at a day/time I can’t get to the school.  Thursday at 2 would’ve been fine.  Friday at 2 is not.  Really, how hard is it to say, “Hey, we need to meet with Munchkin’s English teacher.  Her conference time is 2.  What day is good for you?”  Duh!  It’s just so freaking inconsiderate, but it’s just like him.  He did this crap when I was married to him, and it’s like you’re blindfolded all the time and you have no idea where you are and you just keep bumping into shit and falling down.  It sucks so much ass.

Lastly, and this is the big one, he showed up here last night to pick Munchkin up, and he was dee-runk.  I could smell it coming off him from ten feet away.  I told him, and he said I was being ridiculous.  I was like, “Ex, I can smell it from here.  I know you’ve been drinking.”  Drinking is fine, but I’m not putting my kid in a car with someone who is clearly drunk.  He said he’d had two drinks.  That’s what people always say when they’re lying about how much they drank!  Always!!!  That was my mom’s favorite lie.  “I have two drinks a day”.  No, honey, you have two an hour.  All day long.  Anyway, I said I’d prefer to drive Munchkin back to his house myself.  Ex said, “Why don’t you just call the cops and have them arrest me?”  Okay, getting a little dramatic, are we?  He’s like that though – you’re either okay with everything he does and everything is fine, or he’s a big loser and you hate him and you want him in jail.  There’s a middle of the road here, and for me it’s this: You go ahead and run your ass into a ditch, but I’m not putting my kid in a car with you.

So he kept yelling at me in my kitchen about how I was trying to run his and New-Wife’s life regarding their honeymoon and how I was overly-sensitive about drinking because of my mom (guilty) and how that ruined our marriage and how I was just trying to start a fight, blah blah blah.  In myhouse he was yelling at me!  That’s not okay.  Meanwhile, I’m dumb enough to point out a few other issues like that Munchkin needs new shoes, that he wore dress socks with his falling apart sneakers to school because Ex hadn’t done any laundry in so long, how Munchkin needs a haircut, and how I found out Munchkin hasn’t been eating breakfast and it is the most important meal of the day, etc.  Really not the time or place.  Ex is supposed to take care of all the clothing and that kind of stuff since he’s primary custodian and he makes like ten times as much money as I do.  Sometimes I’ll do it and he’ll pay me back, but he doesn’t always pay me back, so sometimes I have to remind him of these simple care-and-feeding-of-your-child rules.  Jeez, I’m not asking for much.  The dude is freaking loaded.  I mean, he just bought a Mercedes GL 550 which is a $77,000 SUV, so I think he can afford to buy his kid a couple of pairs of sneakers.  It’s just not a priority for him.  I think that’s fucking retarded. 

In the end, all I’m asking for is that some pretty simple needs are met, and right now, I don’t think they are.  Hopefully New Wife will make sure the kids (she has one) eat breakfast before school, and that they look nice with decent shoes and haircuts and clean clothes.  Really, is that too much to ask?  I’ve thought about fighting the custody issue, and it’s the same problem as originally.  I don’t have the firepower that Ex has.  He can bury me in lawyering – all they have to do is drag it out, and I run out of money way before he does.  He doesn’t mind pointing that out either – “Go ahead and fight.  I’ll bankrupt you in a month”.  Fucker!  Power-tripping fool.  Gak I hate his sorry ass!  I am so freaking happy I’m not married to him anymore.

I was so upset last night and this morning that I had the grossest stomach problems, and I broke out on my chest.  Awesome, boob zits.  That’s nice.  They’re not really on my boobs, but close enough that the only way anyone is going to see them is if they take my shirt off.  That’s not happening anytime soon, so I guess I should be happy I broke out on my chest rather than my face!