My gosh, just look at that ass.  Look at it!  If there’s one thing I can really get on board with, it’s a nice ass.  And skaters have the best asses on the planet.  I can’t think of a sport that makes a nicer butt.  Cyclists have nice asses too, but not quite up to the level of skaters.

D and I had this conversation today, and I’m still not sure how or why it started, but he made some comment about the guy “who asked you to coffee.”

Me:  It wasn’t coffee; it was a game.  I might’ve gone if it were just coffee. *continue to attempt a reasonable facsimile of a Choctaw while failing miserably*  You know what, no, no I would not have gone.

D:  Why not?

Me:  I don’t know, I just don’t want to.

D:  Why?  What’s it going to hurt?

Me:  I don’t know *put my hands in my pockets, shrink into turtle-like shell*.  It just freaks me out.  Look what you’re doing to me just asking about it!

D:  You’re 13, aren’t you.

Me:  Fuck off *13 with a potty mouth apparently and yes, I regularly tell my coach to fuck off*

D:  *gives random Choctaw corrections* I just don’t know what the problem is.  You could ask him for coffee.

Me:  *quit doing Choctaws entirely and stand in middle of rink like complete idiot*  Oh hell no!  No way!  Nuh-uh.  Not going to happen.

D:  Why is this such a big deal?

Me:  Because it is.  It’s scary.  If you go out with someone, then you have to talk to them.

D:  Yeeeaaaahhhh

Me:  And you have to eat in front of them at some point.

D:  *looks at me like all suspicions of me being totally insane have been verified*  Yeah, so?

Me:  You wouldn’t understand.  Anyway, if everything goes well, then at some point you have to think about touching the other person.

D:  Isn’t that the point of being with someone?

Me:  Probably, but I’m not ready for that.  I’d rather stay home by myself.

D:  But it would be good for you to socialize.

Me:  No, it really would not.  I don’t do that.  *patently false – I do socialize, but only with people I already know and hang out with*  You know, I think it’d be easier to just go get laid rather than deal with all the relationship crap.

D:  *looks a bit shocked, heh* Ooookaaay

Me:  Well, it’s easier for girls than for guys.

D:  Yeah, you could just walk in a room *I know he doesn’t mean me specifically, but I may have blushed a little – I’ll take that sort-of compliment on behalf of all women in the world*

All of which leads me to this:  yes, a reasonably attractive woman with a relatively decent body could walk into a place and make her intentions known and successfully get laid that night.  I don’t think guys have it that easy.  Super hot guys, yeah, but not reasonably attractive guys.  That said, I think that in the realm of “Sex and the City”, I am more Charlotte than Samantha, so I’m thinking I’m not going to be going out with the intention of getting laid in this lifetime.  Besides that, I am very very very shy and making those intentions known would probably kill me.

This is the second time we’ve had this conversation.  I don’t want to have it anymore.  So if he brings it up again, I’m going to ignore him.  Or more likely, run away to the bathroom where he can’t follow.

It’s just hard – the thought of being with someone and trusting them and all that.  I have trust issues anyway, but they’ve been worsened by the last couple of years of my life.  I’m pretty gullible though.  There’s a part of me that just doesn’t think that anyone would lie to me, and then I’m shocked, just shocked when they do.  And then I wonder what else they’re hiding or whatever.  Or when they’re going to fuck me over next or hurt me (feelings-wise, not physically).

In the meantime, I’m surrounded every day by glorious skating butts, so I’ll just enjoy looking for now!