December 2007

I have a migraine which has exactly two hours to go away so I can start getting ready for the party I’m going to tonight.  Have I mentioned this?  I don’t know what I’ve said lately.  Anyway, I was supposed to go to Houston and spend a couple of days and New Year’s with Shana and Tony, but what with being sick and all, I decided not to subject myself to all that time in the car.  Plus I didn’t have a place to board the dog.  Shana said to bring him, but they don’t have a fenced yard, so … I decided not to go.  It’s probably a good thing because I’m still fucking coughing up a damn lung.  I think it’s what has caused this headache.  It’s a very big nasty cough.

Okay, so rather than getting to go to Houston and hang with friends, I am going to my ex-husband’s New Year’s party.  Aren’t they lucky to be graced by me and my hack?  There are a couple of reasons I want to go, one being that I can hang out with my kid this way, and two being that I do like the New Wife.  Plus he has good parties, so it should be fun.  Most people who have heard my plans think I’m nuts, but since I am nuts, I don’t care.  I’m not sure I want my Man-Friend to know where I’m going, but he’s out of commission and hasn’t asked what I’m doing, so I’ll just not mention it.  I doubt it would bother him anyway – at this point he’d probably be happy that I’m getting out of the house.  (I just re-read this paragraph, and quite frankly, Man-Friend isn’t coming out sounding so hot here.  I should clarify that he’s out of commission because he’s very very very far away visiting his family.  Although I must say, I personally think he should at least ask what I’m doing.  Then again, I haven’t asked him either!  I suck.  Which is why he likes me, hahaha.)

All righty then … this headache really needs to go away because I cannot stand the thought of sitting around this house anymore.  While sick, I have watched the following movies: Selena, Beerfest, The Princess Bride, My Best Friend’s Wedding, The Wedding Planner, Sixteen Candles, Factory Girl, Moulin Rouge, Singles, Friends with Money, and probably half a dozen more that I just can’t remember at the moment.  It cracks me up that I watch all those wedding movies since I have like zero interest in getting married right now.  I do like romantic comedies though.  What can I say?  I’m a girlie girl.  I haven’t played Rock Band since I got home because I’ve been too blah to set it up.  I’ve only played a little Guitar Hero because I’ve pretty much had a headache for two weeks, and I like my Guitar Hero LOUD.  You can’t play it quietly – that’s just stupid.  It’s like those kids who have to play an electric guitar without the amp on because their loser moms can’t stand all the noise.  Here’s a thought – if you don’t like guitar noise, don’t buy your kid a guitar.  The one day I did play Guitar Hero, I was working on the song I need to play next, which is “Lay Down” by Priestess.  I was pretty close to being ready to play it for real before I left town, but not so much now.  The good news is that Rock Band makes you play the red-blue chord a lot, so that’s gotten better for some songs on Guitar Hero.  Anyway, after the “Lay Down” disaster, I got retarded and decided to try to play some stuff on Hard.  Oh, it was nothing but funny.  Even on super slow, I just couldn’t move my fingers that way.  I wonder if there are some people who will never play above Medium?  That would suck because I’d like to play with Jason with both of us on Expert.  I need a few years I think.  After that, I went back to “One” and did the best I’ve ever done on that song which, sadly, is 78% on full speed.  If I slow it down to the next slower speed, I can get around 92%.  Still not ready for prime time.

Dude, I am all over the place paragraphically speaking.  That is some poor writing.  Back to the movies.  I had never seen Selena, and you know, I thought it was okay good.  Then again, I think J. Lo and I would be BFF if we ever met because of an interview she did on television when she was still with Ben Affleck.  She just seemed like somebody I’d hang out with.  My sister thinks she and Drew Barrymore would be BFF.  Drew Barrymore was my nickname when I was in my 20s.  I was kind of wild.  So yeah, I can see where Kim and Drew could be buds since I do like my sister.

I really liked Factory Girl.  I wasn’t sure if I would because I’m not a huge Sienna Miller fan.  That has changed.  She was wonderful as Edie Sedgwick.  The other thing I liked about the movie were all the earrings she wore.  They were freaking enormous!  Every time the scene changed, the first thing I checked out were earrings.

Beerfest is very funny.  I have a ping-pong table, and I’m going to have to play Beer Pong.  Overall, the movie has a ton of potential for drinking games.  Speaking of drinking games, Universal HD is going to run “Battlestar Galactica” starting Saturday night.  I love that show (hit my tv category, and mostly BSG will show up), so I’m going to geek out this coming weekend and watch it.  Even though I have it on DVD.  Whatever.  Marathons are fun.  Actually, I only have the first season on DVD as ex-boyfriend made off with seasons 2 and 2.5.  Fucker.  I think for BSG, you have to drink every time they say “frakking” or “oh my gods”.


I got this from Eden at So Anyway … (see blogroll).

***The Recipe For Renee***
3 parts Bravery
2 parts Uniqueness
1 part Love

Splash of Compassion

Limit yourself to one serving. This cocktail is strong!
What’s the Recipe for Your Personality?

I’m so dumb that I thought if I weren’t registered to vote in the new county that I live in, that I wouldn’t get called for jury duty.  Nope.  They do it by driver’s license here too.  Fuckers.

I’m getting out of it though.  I called my mom and was like, “I’m walking in that room and professing my life-long zealous hatred of cops.  They’re over-grown, out of control hall monitors, and I think they suck and everything they say is a big fat freaking lie.”

She goes, “Oh, you don’t have to do that.  You’re my primary caretaker.”

Ooohhh, that’s right.  She’s a transplant patient undergoing a face lift on the tenth, so I’m out of commission for the county.  Sorry suckas!  Don’t worry, she said that a) they won’t question it, and b) if they do, we can get proof.

I guess we’ll have to wait until the next time they call me for me to go on my cop rant.

I picked up the dog from boarding today, and he promptly had diarrhea all over my wood floors.  Ack.  Welcome home, Magnus!

Then I went to the dentist where it turns out they had been sent the wrong part for my Robo-Mouth.  So I have to wait yet another week to be finished.  Still, I’m three weeks from being done, so I’m okay with it.

After that, I had to go to Target because there is no food or diet Big Red in house.  I don’t care about the food right now, but having no soda is just totally unacceptable.  When I was getting my cart, this lady came in with her seventy children (okay, it was more like four, but they moved around like Sonic the Hedgehog, so it seemed like a lot more).  They immediately got all sorts of in my way, so I was already annoyed with them.  A little later, I ran into them again and they were dancing and twirling and buzzing all up and down the cereal aisle which was crowded with the dude stocking more cereal.  I couldn’t get out.  Finally, Fuckass the Angry Clown possessed me, and I said, “Jesus Christ, lady, can you control your freaking offspring please?”  Mind you, I like never drop JC bombs, so there’s a rather large indicator of my level of irritation.  She looked at me all shocked, and I said, “What?  I said ‘please’!”  Then she looked like she wanted to kick my ass into Michigan, and considering how I’m feeling all puny and she was like six feet tall and she had about a hundred pounds I me, I kind of didn’t think it was the time or place for a throw-down.  So I fled the scene which required backing out.  Eeeekkkk!

Yesterday I was in that lonely sick place so I thought I was ready to be out and about amongst the peeps.  Not so much.  So I’ll stay home and hang with the dog for the rest of the day.  I bought him a Kong.  I’ve never seen him so happy.

Egg nog.  Although rum is still scary from the very bad incident many many years ago at Texas Tech.  It still makes me nauseous to smell the stuff.  My roommate and I got very drunk off rum and Cokes, and we went on a search for egg nog that night.  We were only able to find it in ice cream form, and we forgot about it and left it in her trunk overnight.  Oops!

Santa leaves them under the tree unwrapped.  Santa also does not assemble toys as she is a lazy ass.  Luckily, Munchkin doesn’t believe in Santa anymore and is too old for assembly-required toys, so we just do it for fun.


I wish I could see the real Santa, or at least Buddy the Elf.

Fluffy Pink Salad.  Nobody made it this year though.  I also love the marshmallow-covered yams.

The weekend after Thanksgiving.

Hang on, I’m thinking.  We only spent on Christmas at our own house, and that one was a lot of fun.  It was nice to be able to hang out with my friends on Christmas day.  We rode our new bikes.

I can’t remember.  I do know I believed longer than most of my friends, and they gave me hell for it.

On the years we’re in Oklahoma, we do a “Dirty Santa” gift exchange with my grandmother’s sister and her family.  There were 33 of us this year, and we were missing seven people.  I have a big family.  Anyway, Dirty Santa is where you can steal gifts from other people, and they can steal yours, so Avi, get your mind out of the gutter!

Well, it’s already got lights on it (yeah, I have a fake tree, boo).  Then I hang the ornaments, most of which were gifts, but I buy a few each year.  Then sometimes I add fake poinsettias, but not this year – I put them in vases instead.  Then I hang the glass icicles and the candy canes.  Finally, I put the angel on top.

I love looking at it, but I hate driving in it.

Depends on who you ask.  D would probably say “no”, but I’ll say yes since I do it every day.

My parents gave me this ring one year that made me cry.  I think I’ve mentioned it before.  This year, they gave me the “Elegance on Ice” Lladro and that was my favorite gift.

To be with my family.  I’ve already decided that if I ever get married again (ha!) that if my husband doesn’t want to spend every holiday with my family, then we’ll just spend our holidays apart.  Is there a man out there who will agree to that one?  It was always such an issue in my previous marriage.  But I’m sorry, his family was boring and they just sat around staring at each other while the clock went backwards.  I tried to get them to play games, but they just weren’t into it.

Peppermint ice cream.

We sing “The 12 Days of Christmas” while we do dishes and clean up the kitchen.  And we are not the Von Trapps.  It is just bad.

The aforementioned angel.

I prefer giving.  I’m not just saying that – it’s really that I don’t need anything, and I usually enjoy finding stuff for other people that I think they’ll like.  This year was hard since I was so busy and then sick, but I think everyone liked their gifts from me, so I was happy.

“The Christmas Song” and Julie Andrew’s version of “Hark, the Herald Angels Sing”.  It’s really beautiful. 

I missed Robbie (my cousin who died of brain cancer this summer) a lot this year.  We never spent Christmas with her, but I thought so much about her and her kids (who have lost both parents) and the rest of her immediate family.  My aunt and I talked about her.  I also thought about this woman, Mona Lee, who I met at a convenience store in Oklahoma while on a bathroom break.  She lost her husband two years ago of brain cancer too.  It was weird – we just got to talking and ended up talking about Robbie and her late husband.  Then I had to go, and I felt horrible about leaving her there.  I wanted to take her to my grandparents with us, though she would’ve had to have been strapped to the roof of my car.

I drove home yesterday because I was sick of being sick around so many people.  The drive was hideous.  It snowed, and I don’t like driving in that crap, and I felt really lousy and was so freaking tired.  But we made it safely, yay!

I still feel shitacular.  I ended up in the emergency room on Christmas day because I was on my last day of antibiotics and was feeling worse than ever.  There weren’t any normal doctors open since it was Christmas, so I had no choice.  Plus my family was insistent.  I felt like an idiot, but whatever.  They took chest X-rays, and I don’t have pneumonia.  At least I didn’t that day, but I wonder about today.  I’m coughing up all sorts of charming stuff and sound very rattle-y (can’t figure out if that’s a word, or if it is, how to spell it).  Anyway, they decided that I had another virus on top of my flu and sinus infection, but they gave me more antibiotics for the infection since it wasn’t getting any better.  Oh also, I just have to tough it out and cough up whatever I can (no swallowing, just spit it out so it doesn’t make me nauseous.  Gross!).  It was a most unsatisfactory answer.  He also wouldn’t give me anything for the nasty cough because he wanted me to cough it out so it wouldn’t settle in my lungs and become pneumonia.  Whatever dude.  I just want to stop coughing and get my regular voice back.

D texted me at one point that he was driving around playing with his new GPS.  I tried to call him since I thought it was less than a great idea to drive while texting (though I have to admit I’ve done that, oops).  He didn’t answer, so I left him a message.  He texted back a while later: “U sound like shit”.  Awesome.  Well, I was all snotty and hoarse, but still!  I think I sound somewhat better now.  Not quite like normal, but not as bad as that day.

J and his wife L are getting married today.  I know that sounds weird, but technically they’re already married – they got married here a while back by a JP so they could get her green card process rolling, and today they’re doing the big family church wedding in Cancun.  I would wish that I were there, but if I were, I’d make a spectacle of the wedding with all my hacking.  So it’s best that I’m home.  It sucks because I can’t be around people and I’m getting lonely.  I don’t normally care if I have alone time.  Actually I usually crave alone time.  But when I’m sick, after a few days I want people.  I just feel really isolated right now, and I don’t like it at all.

I have to pick the dog up from the “spa” tomorrow morning.  I guess at some point I’ll have to get off my ass and put my Christmas presents away so he doesn’t eat them.  I also have a dentist appointment tomorrow to get the molds made for my crowns and to put the last piece of the implants on.  I hope I feel better tomorrow than I do right now because I don’t think it’s going to be fun there if I’m still like this. 

I pretty much played Rock Band all day today, which by the way is now Christmas, but only because it’s 12:49 am.  So really, I played all day yesterday, but whatever.  It’s fun, but gosh, I suck at the drums.  I suck even worse at singing though.  Kim, Jason, Amber, Nicki, Mandi, Munchkin, and I were playing, so we were rotating through the instruments.  They originally weren’t going to make me sing because I’ve lost my voice, but then we went ahead with it just for the entertainment value.  I did okay on that Flyleaf song “I’m So Sick” which is somewhat ironic.  I was awful on “Buddy Holly”, but didn’t flunk somehow.  Then my mom yelled at me for singing and touching instruments that other people were going to touch.  I felt like Kindergarten.  I was like, “But I’m not contagious!”  Nobody’s buying that so much.  Oh, and then they made us quit because we were ruining Christmas Eve by not playing something with the “adults” (I put quote marks there since Munchkin is the only non-adult here, but the nefarious “they” in this scenario is all the parents and grandparents, so they’re the so-called adults here).

I seem to have picked up a cold though because my nose is all runny and I can’t stop sneezing.  Either that or the sinus infection is draining or something equally gross.  My left eye is all drippy, but the makeup survived until after the Christmas Eve pajama pictures were taken.  I’ll post those when I get home.

On the plus side, my cough is getting much better, but because I have a bunch of new crud and only one antibiotic left in my Z-pack, my mom is threatening to take me to one of those emergency care centers.  Uh no … Quack Shack, anyone?  So then she said my other choice would be the emergency room because what else is open on Christmas?  I said, nope, I’m fine, I’m not going anywhere.  That said, I am somewhat concerned that I seem to be getting worse despite the meds.  No way in hell am I going to the fucking emergency room over this shit though.  No way!!!

I was pretty bored today.  They left me home all day while everyone else went shopping.  I didn’t feel up to going anyway.  Then this evening, they all went to church.  I don’t normally go, but I do like to go on Christmas Eve because I like the songs.  They wouldn’t let me though.  So I stayed home and played the little plastic guitar.  I feel like a leper.  Like, I understand and everything, but jeez!

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