I survived the ice show, but I think the fucking tykes have gotten me sick.  I couldn’t get any air at all today and my voice was on and off.  We had these penguins, and they were all like two to four years old.  For some reason that I’m unable to explain, they LOVED me.  I was like this sparkly toy to them, and they hung all over me, sitting in my lap, touching my hair, rubbing the glitter off my dress, and asking me to pick them up.  Then I started noticing that all the little shits had snot crust under their noses.  Um, that’s not cool.  I was like, “Okay, I’m out.  I’m not getting sick when I have a to-do list a mile long.”  That just made them love me all the more.  They’re like cats – you know how they find the one person in the room who can’t stand cats and rub all over them?  Yeah, that’s little kids with me.

I don’t understand the need some people have for procreation.  People are already annoying and they want to go out and make tiny annoying replicas of themselves?  I don’t get it.  And plus, just for a bonus, wee ones always have snotty noses and random grime all over their nasty germy little hands.  Yuck.  Yes, I’m aware that I have a kid, but you know what?  He grossed me out when he was little too. 

Now having said that, there were two penguins that I liked just fine.  One didn’t speak which is awesome if you ask me.  The other one just wanted to dance, so while we were backstage (aka on the ice but behind the curtains, we spun and shook our booties.  That was good times.  I don’t know, maybe they would’ve been okay if there hadn’t been so damn many of them or if they weren’t snotty or if I hadn’t been so nervous.

Speaking of nervous, I was so freaked before I left the rink that I a) puked (and I think we’re all aware of just how much I hate throwing up), and b) well, so as not to go into detail, let’s just say that those two girls and their cup have nothing on me.  Oh dear God.  So I went to the show completely devoid of food which may have contributed as well to my attitude towards the tiny people who, by the way, were all stuffing their little faces with Goldfish and Cheerios.  After the show, I went to an open house being held by one of the skater’s parents.  I drank one beer and was hammered.  That’s fun.  I couldn’t eat there because of the whole tooth issue.  When I came home, I was like, “Where is the fucking food???” and I seriously ate.  And then I felt sick.  Bummer!  But then I felt better so I ate some more.  Oink oink, yay me!

Performance-wise, I’d give it a shrug and an ok.  I’ve definitely done it better, but it could’ve been worse.  I didn’t fall or run into a tree and kick a squirmy kid in the head (tempting, but no).  My spiral wasn’t as high as normal because I felt a little wonky while I was tipping my upper body over, so my leg couldn’t get as high.  My spin was disappointingly slow.  The rest was fine.  It wouldn’t have killed me to look up into the stands more or to paste a grin on my face (the smile was sporadic), but since I’m new to this, I’m not gonna shoot myself over it.  When I danced, we didn’t grin – we were told to have a pleasant expression on our faces, but not a giant cheese-eating grin.  This is different since it was a show and we’re supposed to majorly play to the audience.  I’m not so good at that.

Anyway, I’m glad I did it because any experience in front of an audience is good practice, especially with that Pro-Am coming up this summer.  Plus I’ll probably have to test again before that.  So it’s all good.

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