First the ankle: I am so freaking frustrated with it right now.  I skated on Friday, and it hurt.  So I only skated for the length of my lesson.  Duke said he wasn’t going to pick on me too much when I didn’t get far enough over on a right inside edge since that was what was hurting like a mofo.  The problem is that those inside edges are set-ups for an outside edge on the other foot.  So whenever I didn’t get a deep enough edge on the right inside, I was in the wrong place for the left outside (since we’re doing set-pattern dances, it matters exactly where you are on the ice.  If you’re in the wrong spot, they can flunk you as evidenced by the fact that I flunked the Dutch Waltz the first time through for my end pattern being “too flat”.  Bitches).  Basically, it was an hour of me putting us into the wrong spots on the ice because I couldn’t roll my ankle over.  What a waste of time.  Then the inevitable questions came.  “Are you sure you want to do this?”  Yes.  “Does that hurt?”  Yes.  “Does your doctor know you’re doing this?”  Uh, let’s not talk about that.  “I don’t want to do anything that’s against her orders.”  Then let’s just not talk about it anymore, okay?  What I didn’t tell him is that I made sure to word all my questions about resuming activities very carefully and did not include skating in any of my questions.  So while she forbade everything else for a week, she said nothing about not skating.  A mere technicality, yes, but it works for me.

Ramil (that’s a big guess on the spelling as he’s Russian) came by partway through to say hi.  We skated over to him, and he wanted to know where his hug was.  I gave him one which is the first non-family hug I’ve had since the big breakup.  It was a friend-hug, but hey, I’ll take what I can get!  I said, “I never get hugs from him”, pointing at Duke.

Ramil said, “That is because he is coach, you are student.  No hugging.”

“Nope, no hugging,” Duke said.  Well, I think this sucks.  I think I should get a hug when I pass a test.  Oh well.

Then Ramil looked at each of us and said, “No kissing either.”

Aaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!  My face grew hot hot hot, and I said, “Ramil!  Oh my gosh!  I think I’m blushing.”

I looked over at Duke, and he was cracking up.  We skated off, and I said, “Well that was embarrassing.”

He goes, “Yeah, yeah it was.”  And that was that.  More Fiesta Tango followed, and that was all for the day.

The coach/student relationship is a weird one.  I think more so in our case because we do occassionally hang out, we have a lot in common, and we talk about everything.  He gets to be my therapist sometimes, and I get to be his keeper.  I get this everyday: “Where’s Duke?”  That’s easy.  If he’s not at the rink, he’s home playing X-Box.  Duh, people, you should know this by now.  Even his coach comes to me looking for him.  Last season, I thought people would go to his partner to find him, but no, not so much.  Anyway, things would obviously be different if I were a child rather than an adult.  After we hang out, the professional shield does come back up.  Regrettably, but necessarily.

But back to me and my dumb ankle (have patience, it’s a long story).  Yesterday, Munchkin and I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond for stuff to hang on the walls (his room is Hawaii, and they have cute stuff for that).  I thought we were looking for stuff for my room or bathroom too, but what I found was stuff for the powder room.  I found these large photographs of kissing people – one of that sailor kissing a girl after the war which I also have on a purse, and one of this man and woman on a street in Paris.  I liked this one because it looks like she initiated the kiss.  Her hand is on the back of his neck as if she’s pulling him to her.  Both of them (and my purse) are black and white.  The purse has a little more sparkle to it though.  Then I found these Nicole Miller bath towels and accessories.  Last but not least, I got black velvet curtains (before you think “Elvis”, think romantic and lusty and dramatic).  I wanted a rug for in there too, but the one I wanted was like $80, and the spending had to stop.  Plus the dog would eat it, so screw that.  Anyway, I was in the bathroom, putting all this stuff up, using a step stool to get high enough for the curtains, and when I stepped off the stool (luckily for the last time that day), I felt a big pull in the sprained area of my ankle.  Fuckity fuck fuck!  So I’m back to walking all gimpy with ice bandaged around my ankle.  I was supposed to start running again tomorrow, but I don’t see how that’s possible as I can hardly walk.  I’m going to get so fat.  It’s just depressing to sit on my ass with my ankle elevated, feeling blobbily useless.

I do wish I had a digital camera so I could post pictures of the bathroom.  Someday!

Okay, so onto the books.  I read the Mugglenet Harry Potter book which was fabulous.  They have lots of great theories and discussions.  I’m so excited about book seven, but sad as well.  I don’t want it to end!  I’m also just dying for the fifth movie to come out.  That was my favorite book so far.  July is going to be a huge month!

Then it was onto the Laurie Notaro book.  Hunh.  Well, let’s just say she should stick to the non-fiction.  The problem with her current book is that everyone in it has quippy sarcastic dialogue.  Not everyone in the world speaks that way, and the effect is that all the dialouge seems to come from one person.  It’s annoying, to say the least.

So I’m going to take Radical Mama’s (see blogroll) suggestion and read One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest next.

I’m not sure if the spellchecker on here is working.  Yeah, no, it’s not.  I wrote “dimond” for “diamond” and hit spellcheck.  Nothing happened.  Crap.  I can’t spell worth a damn, so I’m sorry for any annoying misspellings.  I’d fix them if I only knew!


My ankle is sprained.  They’re making me wear one of those ridiculous giant boots, but just for a week.  I feel like an idiot, especially when people stop me and ask what happened.  I’m like, “Oh, it’s really nothing.  I just sprained it.”  The next question is inevitably, “Does it hurt?”.  Uh yeah, yeah it does.  Otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered going to the doctor to see if I had a stress fracture.  Seriously last night, it hurt so bad I almost threw up.  Now I don’t say all that to the kind little old ladies who ask all this, I just say, “Yes ma’am, it does hurt.”  In the meantime, I’m going to be sitting on my ass getting fat.  Yay.  I’m so excited.

Anyway, somehow I ended up in the bookstore.  I don’t need any more books!  I’ve written about this before – I have over 100 books that I haven’t read yet, but I went and bought some more.  I guess this is what I’ll do until I’m allowed to run again.  I bought the following:

1.’s What Will Happen in Harry Potter 7.  I started that one as soon as I got home despite the fact that I’m currently reading Prep and Lipstick Jungle.  Hey, who doesn’t need to read three books at once?  That’s not at all confusing.

2. John Updike’s Terrorist.  After reading The Reluctant Fundamentalist, this one looked interesting.

3. Laurie Notaro’s There’s a (Slight) Chance I Might Be Going to Hell.  I got this one for a couple of reasons.  One is that she’s hilarious.  I mean, what’s not to love about a woman who writes books with such titles as We Thought You Would Be Prettier and I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies).  She is beyond funny.  The second reason is I thought for a moment that I was looking at the title of my own autobiography but then remembered I’ve not yet written it.

4. Tom Perrotta’s Little Children.  They keep advertising the movie on Video on Demand, so I figured I should read it before I watch it.  I don’t like doing it the other way around.

5. Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita.  I’ve been meaning to read it for years.

6. Ken Kesey’s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.  I’ve been meaning to read this one too, and someday I’ll get around to watching the movie as well.

So see, I do have good reasons for conspicuous consumption.  Or at least I can justify it to myself.  It’s not my favorite thing about myself, but I never buy clothes so I figure it’s okay.

Okay, the search term “I have two pee holes” has once again been used to find my blog.  Seriously, I kid you not.  Is this a real condition?  How would that work?  Would you pee out both holes at the same time?  Or would you be able to control which hole the pee came out of?  It would be like taking turns with your tatas while breast feeding.  I’ve gotten really curious about this whole thing.  It’s like when we were playing trivial pursuit when I was a kid, and the question “What is hemipenes?” came up.  With great relish and a wicked grin, my dad answered, “Dual whippers!”  I was horrified, and yet I had to know more.  Yikes!

My coach is out of town for two weeks.  I could just weep.  I hate it when he leaves!!!  Everything he has ever taught me goes right out the window, and I turn into a quivering lump of inability for whatever length of time he’s gone.  To add to the fun, I’m going to get my skates sharpened while he’s out so he at least doesn’t have to go through those few days of complete freak-out with me.  Freshly sharpened skates suck so much ass.  You have to dull some of that edge off before you can skid stop, so for a couple of days you have to just let your momentum wear off and then kind of run yourself (softly) into the boards.  It wasn’t so much an issue with hockey skates.  I wonder why there’s a difference?

I forgot to tell one little break-up story.  When Ex-Boyfriend gave me my key back, he was so careful not to touch my hand.  I thought how strange it was to go from having such a touchy-feely boyfriend to having an ex who was afraid of any contact.  I wondered which he feared more – my reaction to a touch, or his.  Or on the other hand, maybe since he broke up with me, he’s decided I’m utterly repulsive and didn’t want to touch my hand because of that!

I’m almost finished with Anne Frank’s diary.  I had forgotten how insightful and funny she was.  It makes me so sad.  She was an incredible writer, and so young!  It’s like on The Amazing Race when Joyce and Uchenna were at Auschwitz, and he mentioned all the books that were never written because of the Holocaust.  I think Anne Frank could’ve written beautiful books.

On Friday after skating, I ran over to the bookstore with the intention to buy exactly two books, Einstein by Walter Isaacson and The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Moshin Hamid.  Unfotunately, I had time to kill before picking up the munchkin from school which meant I ended up with a bag filled with books.  I also bought Runners World Complete Book of Beginning Running by Amby Burfoot; Come Together, Fall Apart by Cynthia Henriquez; and Lipstick Jungle by Candace Bushnell.  Oh, by the way, I also ordered Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl from Amazon earlier this week (explanation to follow in a sec).  I do not need more books!  It’s a sickness – I’m addicted to buying new books.  This morning, while I was finally getting around to adding the new ones to the bookshelves, I decided to count the books I have that I haven’t read yet.  I didn’t include how-to books or guides.  Just novels.  Um, I have 106 books to read.  WTF???  That is sick!  I guess I think I have way more free time than I actually have for reading, or else I’m afraid I won’t remember to buy a certain book twenty years from now when I’m done with all these other books.  But really, how important is it to have Lipstick Jungle in my library?  The only consolation I have in all this is that most of the 106 unread books were not purchased by me – rather they were given to me by my grandparents when they sold their summer home.

The reason I bought Anne Frank is this: I was watching The Amazing Race, and one of the places they had to go was Auschwitz.  It was incredibly moving, and later I went online to read up on the subject.  I fell down the Wikipedia rabbit hole and ended up reading a bit about Anne Frank.  It’s been many years since I read her diary, so I decided to order it.  It sickens me that there are people out there who deny that the Holocaust happened.  They’re not even denying it because the numbers are so high that it’s hard to believe so many could be killed.  They deny it because, quite simply, they hate Jews.

I love books, and this is from Radical Mama who I believe is on my blogroll.  She’s awesome!  Anyway, the rules are to put READ by the books you’ve read, AGAIN & AGAIN by what you’ve read repeatedly, WANT TO by what you want to read, and leave it blank if you’re not interested. 

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown) READ
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen) WANT TO
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee) AGAIN & AGAIN
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell) READ
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien) AGAIN & AGAIN
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien) AGAIN & AGAIN
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien) AGAIN & AGAIN
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)

9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling) AGAIN & AGAIN
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown) READ
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling) AGAIN & AGAIN
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden) READ
16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (Rowling) AGAIN & AGAIN
17. Fall on Your Knees(Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King) WANT TO
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling) AGAIN & AGAIN

20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)

21. The Hobbit (Tolkien) AGAIN & AGAIN
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger) AGAIN & AGAIN
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott) READ
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams) READ
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte) READ
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis) AGAIN & AGAIN
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck) READ
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert) READ
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell) READ
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley) READ
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb) READ
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho) WANT TO
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel) READ
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella) READ, EMBARRASSED
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. The Bible READ PARTS
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy) READ
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck) READ
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb) READ
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)READ
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card) JUST BOUGHT BUT HAVEN’T STARTED YET
54. Great Expectations (Dickens) READ
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald) READ
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling) AGAIN & AGAIN
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood) AGAIN & AGAIN
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger) READ
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky) READ
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand) WANT TO
63. War and Peace (Tolsoy) READ
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller) WANT TO
69. Les Miserables (Hugo) READ
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery) READ EN FRANCAIS
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding) READ
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje) READ
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett) WANT TO
76. Tigana (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving) READ
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White) AGAIN & AGAIN
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck) READ
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind) MAYBE READ
85. Emma (Jane Austen) READ
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams) READ
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley) READ
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding) AGAIN & AGAIN
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)

94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd) READ
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum) READ
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton) READ
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch) READ
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce) READ

I think I ferked up the spacing as usual, but I’m not going to try to fix it since the last time I did that, I messed it up far more than it was to begin with.  Wow, that sentence has a lot of grammatical errors.  Not gonna fix those either.  Really, whose gonna make me???  Sorry, I am feeling a little ornery today.  I haven’t slept all week.  The eating has gone by the wayside as well except for candy.  We’re just not eating real food at the moment.  We did try today – breakfast tacos, but then it was right back out.  Yuck.  Anyway … I don’t have anything to follow up my “anyway”, so I’m just going to sign off.  I think I’m going to wish I had deleted this paragraph!

Oh hey, here’s me being a bitch:  my mom is wearing slipper/scuff things, and she’s not picking up her feet when she walks.  I getting ready to grab a foot, take off the slipper, and whack her upside the head with it.  Pick up your damn feet, woman!

My dentist appointment is today at 4:40.  Supposedly they’re only looking at the damage and then coming up with a plan for how to proceed.  Why do I feel like that’s a lie, and when I get there I’ll be strapped to a chair a la A Clockwork Orange and out will come my poor toothlette?  Mmm, dental nightmares, my favorite!  I don’t want to go, but I will.  I made the appointment, so now I have to show up.  Sure, I could cancel, but I won’t and only because of my vanity.  I don’t want to look at the bit of tooth that’s left because it’s just gnarly.  I don’t want anyone else to look at it because they’ll think I’m gross.  Can’t have that!  So see, here is a case where vanity is a good thing.  I am saving the world from seeing the horror that is my current mouth.  Nice of me, eh?  I do what I can.

Rich got the bookshelves up yesterday, yay!!!  I put the books on them because 90% of them are mine, and I have a specific way of putting them away.  It is NOT alphabetical.  I’d never find anything like that.  Instead, they are categorized by type of book – sci-fi/fantasy, general fiction that anyone would like, fiction for women (I refuse to say chick-lit because it’s not like that.  It’s more Margaret Atwood than Candace Bushnell – though both are represented), and my personal favorite, books my grandparents gave me that I haven’t read yet, but as I flipped through them yesterday I thought, wow, there is some really awesome stuff here.  For that category, I will have to be feeling intelligent.

And now some fodder for a new category on my blog: Politics.  I am so undecided right now.  I really like Barack Obama.  But I also really like Rudy Guiliani.  What is a girl to do?  Clearly I am not really worried about party affiliation at this point.  One thing I like about Guiliani is that I agree with him on both financial and social points which is something I can’t usually say about Republicans.  Obama, I just like him overall, even though I don’t know much about him.  All I know is that I don’t want Hillary Clinton or that dude from Arizona whose name escapes me at the moment.  Argh, that is frustrating.  A senior moment for me.  Great, and I’m not even 40.  Well, there’s lots of time to figure out this one.


There she is!  I finally figured it out (I think – we’ll see when I try to post this).  By the way, my Wee Me halo is a lie according to my boyfriend – he said it is a “halo of lies” as in “You sit on a throne of lies” from Elf.  That happens to be one of my favorite movies of all time.  I do not, however, enjoy one of my favorite lines in said movie being used against me!  It was a joke though, so it’s really okay!

Now, with my new-found technical expertise, haha, if I could just figure out how to get the youtube video of the Sunshine Quickstep not to skip, then I’d be happy.  Duke was like, “I can get it to work just fine.”  This is me after that moment  :p  Brat, whatever!

I had a “Pitch the Bitch” moment at skating today.  If you don’t know this already, Pitch the Bitch is a term from pairs which means when the guy has to throw the woman.  Nice!  We were doing backwards crossovers together, which in my opinion is far scarier than when I do them alone because Duke makes us haul ass.  I had a slight freak out moment because my circle was pulling too far out and I was getting off-track, and that’s just hellacious when you’re going fast.  So I flipped around frontwards to get out of it (not intelligent at all), and I went right past Duke like a slingshot.  Hence, Pitch the Bitch.  Excellent!  I got all the way down to the opposite blue line before I was willing to hit the brakes and stop because of all the speed.  I was laughing the whole time though.  We decided to leave those for the day after that.  Good times!  The thing is, I have to get used to that speed, so we have to just keep doing them.  When they’re going well, as in I’m not widening the circle (it’s actually an oval – we use the whole area south of the blue line to the boards) or shrinking into my shoulders like a turtle, it’s actually fun.  I can get about three fun ones in before I go “argh!!!” and flip around frontwards.

I started writing a new story the other day.  It’s a fantasy, and I’ve never written one of those before.  I’m letting it take shape as it comes, and then I’ll just edit the shit out of it.  I have a tendency to edit as I go, but I want this one to lead me where it will.  I’m also reading Orson Scott Card’s How to Write Science Fiction and Fantasy during this process.  It’s been pretty helpful so far.  For pleasure reading, I’ve just started Paint it Black by Janet Fitch.  It’s amazing, really incredible.

We’re going out to dinner tonight at a Mexican place called Anamia’s.  It’s awesome if you’re not trying to lose weight (down seven pounds now, thirteen to go).  I think I’ll get chicken fajitas with no tortillas or cheese or sour cream.  So basically, chicken, veggies, and salsa.  What I really want is a margarita.  Mmmm!

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