My son’s here this weekend.  He’s playing Rock Band while I do this, and then we’re going to see Leatherheads.  We spent yesterday pulling weeds since I got a nasty note from the homeowner’s association.  I’m still so freaking embarrassed about that!

This is courtesy of Adam.  I think I got some of them right on his – he does movie quote answers and then you guess for a contest.  Yay, games!!!

1. Would you kill your neighbor?
Nah, he’s nice enough.  And his yard is weed-free.  They may come kill me though.

2. What’s one word that describes your last fight?
Politely yelling.  I realize that’s two words, but I don’t yell meanly.  It’s more of a tone of voice thing.  Then I threw the phone.  Very mature.  I throw stuff when I’m mad, but usually it’s the hairbrush because my hair won’t behave.  Also very mature.

3. What were you doing ten minutes ago?
Watching the Munchkin play drums.

4. Do you carve pumpkins every year?
Ew, no.  Pumpkin guts STINK.

5. What’s your favorite season?
Fall because the tornado threat is pretty much over and it’s not too cold yet.

6. How are you feeling right now?
My hamstrings are sore for reasons unknown, but otherwise fine.  The stomach virus seems to have passed, thank goodness. 

7. What did you do this weekend?
Besides the stuff up at the top, we went to dinner with my parents for their anniversary.  It’s actually on Monday, but they’re going to some fundraiser so we celebrated early.

8. What is the last thing you touched?
Myself.  Just kidding.  My mug of coffee, but that’s not nearly such a fun answer.

9. Have you ever been called a punk?
This is a really stupid story, but yeah.  It was the mid-80’s, and we were driving through Kansas on our way from my grandparents house in Oklahoma to my uncle’s cabin in Winter Park, CO to go skiing.  We stopped at this diner in Bumfuck, KS to eat, and I was wearing this flourescent multi-color and black sweater with black pants.  I had short, kind of sticky-uppy hair, but I’d say I was trendy, not punk.  Anyway, we were walking through to our table, and this giant fucker in overalls says, “Seat the punk in the back” and points at me.  Oh, appalling!!!  My family thought it was funny though.  I was worried about embarrassing my grandmother.  She’s very proper.  But she had just moved back from England and had seen actual punks and is a huge fashionista (I know, even in Oklahoma), so she knew it was ridiculous.

10. Do you have a favorite number?
I like seven.  Thirteen shows up a lot in my life.  I was interviewing for a job in Houston which was at 1300 Blankety-blank Ave., Suite 1300, so I knew I’d get the job because what worse hell could it be for me than to be stuck on an elevator to the 13th floor every freaking day?  My house is at 1300 Blankety-blank Dr.  And yes, there is a 1313 on my street.  Oh hell no, I wouldn’t live in that house!

11. Do you hate anyone/anything?
I’m pretty pissed at my sister right now.  She was the cause of the telephone throwing, but I don’t hate her.  I hate weeds. 

12. If you could meet anyone who would it be?
Stephen Hawking.  Yep, I’m a nerd.

13. Last time you went out to lunch?
That would be the day I met D’s parents.  So exactly a week ago.

14. Say you were given a drug test right now.
Dude, the amount of caffeine that would show up …

15. Do people ever spell your name wrong?
Yes.  It’s spelled Renee, and lots of people leave off that last “e”.  I’m a girl.  I get another “e”.  Gosh!

They changed some stuff on wordpress and I can’t find spellcheck.  Hope I didn’t goof too much!


See blogroll for his site!

1. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Yes, in two and a half weeks.  This waiting is worse than being five and waiting for Santa.  My gosh, could time crawl any slower???

2. Last voicemail you received?
From Anjelica, I think.

3. What did you do yesterday?
I went to lunch and shopping with L.  I ate a cheeseburger.  Again with the cheese!  Then I came home and played Dr. Mario, and then I texted with Man-Friend all night long.

4. What’s the first thing you would do with 5 million dollars?
I’d pay off my teeth and then take a vacation for about three months.  Then I’d invest because I’m boring that way.

5. What color socks are you wearing?
White. They’re running socks, but I don’t run anymore.

6. What are you listening to?
My DVR is playing figure skating.  It’s the men’s short program, and quite frankly is dull, which is why I’m blogging.

7. How many fingers am i holding up?
Uh … two?

8. When’s the last time you cried?
Last night when I was watching “From the Earth to the Moon” for the thousandth time.  It was the second episode, about Apollo One.  The scene of Roger Chaffee’s wife with that silent tear running down her cheek kills me.

9. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Absolutely.  I wouldn’t have been a teenager without having crawled through at least one window.

10. What do you spend most of your money on?
Skating, definitely skating.  It’s making me poor.

11. Who has your heart?
Man-Friend, utterly and completely.

12. Have you ever kissed two people in the same day?
Everytime I visit my family I get kissed by more than one person, and no, I don’t mean in that Appalachian way, thanks.

13. Do you like yourself?
You can’t win if you answer that question.  If you say no, then you’re a depressed fuck.  If you say yes, you’re a snotty bitch.  I would say that I get on my own nerves though.

14. What objects are around you right now?
The bills I just paid, a remote control, a bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper (I’m out of Diet Big Red and too lazy to fix it), a house phone, a cell phone, a box of Kleenexes, a tennis ball, and a sleeping dog.  I love him when he’s asleep.

15. What’s your middle name?
Renee, and it’s what everyone calls me.

This one’s from Avitable (duh duh duh!!! and see blogroll), but before I start, I should tell a story.  I just picked up what I believed to be a cookie crumb off of my laptop and ate it.  It wasn’t a cookie crumb.  I do not know what it was, and at this point, I think I’m better off for it.  It was probably Dog Debris of some sort.  I really need to remember that in this house, there is no five second rule.

1. How many siblings do you have?
I have one, my sister Kim, whose husband kissed a tranny this weekend.  On Kim’s birthday.  I promised her I wouldn’t tell that story, but I’m clearly a liar.

2. Are you shy around the opposite sex?
I’m shy around a fence post, so yeah.

3. Do you own any band t-shirts?
No, but then again, I’m not a fourteen year old boy.

4. What is your favorite salad dressing?
Thousand Island.  Of course I’m not allowed to eat it.

5. Do you read for fun?
Yeah, but I haven’t been reading much lately.  I’m on a bad book streak and it’s sucking the life out of me.  I’m currently reading the guide book for Bioshock.  It’s not helping much, fuckers.

6. Do you cry a lot?
Normally no, I’m hard as a rock, but lately I cry at the drop of a hat thanks to my whole coaching and whatnot situation.

7. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?
Only when the food is healthy.  Right now I’m eating Soft Baked Chocolate Chunk cookies, and there is no need to see the calories.  If you don’t know, it didn’t happen.

8. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?
Both, but I like never use the desktop.

9. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoo?
I have phases where I want to even up the piercings in my ears (I am a child of the 80s, and I have more holes in my left ear than my right, though I only wear one earring on each side now).  If I did that, I’d get one more on my right because then I’d just be double pierced.  Technically there’s a third hole on the left, but it closed up years ago.

I’d like to get something else pierced, but I think it’s out of boredom.  I’m not going to say what.

Tattoos:  I don’t want one because I don’t think it would be in the same place or shape ten years from now.

10. What is the weather like?
A little muggy.  It rained all night last night.

11. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
I would date someone with tattoos, but not covered in tattoos.

12. Is sex before marriage wrong?
No.  I fully believe in the test drive.  If I ever get married again, it better be forever, and I will not forever be with bad dick.

13. When was the last time you slept on the floor?
When I got really drunk and “fell asleep” half in the entry way and half in the office.  I was still married, so it was many years ago.  The time before that I was half in the entry way and half in the powder room.  I seem to be a fan of half in the entry way.

14. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
I can function on four, but I prefer seven.  I’m less bitchy on seven.

15. Are your days full and fast-paced?
Snort.  If this blog makes nothing else clear, it should overwhelmingly state that I do not have full and fast-paced days!

1. Are you taller than your best friend?
Nope, my sister is my best friend and she’s 5’7″.  I’m about 5’5″.

2. Do you have a favorite type of pen?
I like the gel pens.

3. Look at your planner; what were your plans for January 15th?
I probably skated since it was a Tuesday, but I don’t write down what I’m supposed to do.  This may very well account for why I forget to do stuff all the time.

4. What color are your toenails usually?
Pink, though they are nekkid right now.

5. What was the last thing you highlighted?
That would be my hair.

6. What color are the curtains in your bedroom?
I think it’s called champagne.

7. What color are the seats in your car?

8. Have you ever had a black and white cat?
No, but I’ve had a black cat and a separate white cat.

9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on?
A letter.  Shocking, I know!

10. Do you know anyone who lives in Japan?

11. Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?
I pay D in cash, so it was for him for the week.

12. Last baby you held?
Anjelica’s baby.

13. Can you spell well?
No way.  I heart spellcheck.  Hey, it’s saying I’m spelling spellcheck wrong.  Well, I like how it looks this way, so I’m leaving it!

14. Do you like cinnamon toothpaste?
No, which is weird to me because I love cinnamon in food and mints and gum.

15. How fast have you driven in a car before?
I’m not sure because the speedometer didn’t move anymore but I kept going faster.

16. Pick one: Miami Hurricanes or Florida Gators?
Uh, OU Sooners.

17. Last time you went to Six Flags?
I think it was right after my senior year in high school ended.  It’s been a really long time.

18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house?

19. Closest thing to you that is yellow?
The disgusting Las Vegas sweatshirt I’m wearing.  It’s disgusting because I’ve managed to get both spaghetti sauce and sneeze all over it in the last hour.  I’m messy.

20. Last person who gave you a business card?
The dentist’s assistant, in case I had any problems with my crowns while the office was closed.

21. Who was the last person you wrote a check or money order to?
The City of Wylie to pay my water bill.  It gets there faster if I send a check myself rather than letting the bank do it.

22. Closest framed picture to you?
Me and my sister fourteen years ago.  We both had dark hair.  This is no longer true.  We also both had huge caterpillar eyebrows.  We’ve taken care of that issue since then, thanks.

23. Last time you had someone cook for you?
My aunt made dinner a couple of weeks ago.  Does that count?

24. Have you ever felt you weren’t good enough?
My entire life.  I’m very harsh on myself and sickly competitive.

25. How many emails do you get in your inbox daily (excluding spam)?
Generally around 15.

26. Last time you received flowers?
My dad gave me flowers for my birthday several years ago.

27. What’s one thing you live for?
Awesome sex.

28. Do you play air guitar?
Can I take the fifth or is that too obvious?

29. Has anyone ever proposed to you?
One time a guy did, and it wasn’t my ex-husband.  Now there’s a story.

30. Do you take anything in your coffee?
Soy milk and Splenda.

31. Do you have any Willow Tree figurines?

32. How many books have you read in the last year?
I don’t know, but I can say that I’ve had a very disappointing run of books lately.  I keep starting books that I’m unable to finish because they suck ass.  Honestly, they’ll publish anything these days!

33. Last person you spoke to from high school?
Kim and Caryn.

34. Last time you used hand sanitizer?
I prefer to wash with actual soap and water.

35. Would you like to learn to play the drums?
I wanted to play the crap out of the drums until I got Rock Band.  Now I hate the fucking drums, and they hate me more.

36. What color are the blinds in your living room?

37. Have you ever developed your own film?
Yeah, when I was in high school, I took Photojournalism and we had to develop our own film and photos.  That was a fun class!

38. Last thing you read in the newspaper?
Well, I think I was in Oklahoma, so it was probably the ads for the sales after Thanksgiving.

39. What was the last pageant or play you attended?
Eeekkk, I do not know.

40. What is the last place you bought pizza from?
Man-Friend and I had Little Caesar’s a few weeks ago.  I’m not sure why, but we did.

41. Have you ever worn a crown?
No, but I do have a tiara that I wear when I clean my house.  It never hurts to feel pretty when you’re doing grunt work.

42. What is the last thing you stapled?
Oh, probably some Longaberger stuff.

43. Did you ever drink clear Pepsi?
Oh gaggers, yeah I tried it.  Fucking swill!

44. Are you ticklish?
Extremely, but I can control the ticklish on my feet which is so entertaining.  It makes Munchkin mad.

45. Last time you saw fireworks?
I think at New Year’s.

46. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?
Probably five or more years ago.  That’s kinda sad.

47. Who is the last person that left you a message, and you actually returned it?

48. Last time you parked under a carport?
Gosh, I don’t know if I ever have.

49. Do you have a black dog?
No, I have a blonde dog.

50. Can you give one reason why David Caruso is allowed to keep acting?
Because nobody can do that sunglasses removal and pause as well as he does.

51. Are you an aunt or uncle?

52. Who has the most gorgeous eyes that you know of?
Probably my aunt Susan.

53. Last time you saw a semi truck?
Today while driving to the airport to pick up D.

54. Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe?
Sounds familiar, but I can’t place the name.

55. Do you have a little black dress?
I’m a girl, so yes, duh.  It’s too big now though, so I guess I need a new one.

Courtesy of Avitable, duh! 

 1. If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?
First I would say, “Oh fuuuuck”.  Then I would say, “How in the hell did both condoms and religiously taken birth control pills fail?  How is that possible?  How, how how???”

2. Do you trust all of your friends?
I don’t trust anybody.  Well, I don’t trust anybody completely.  D probably comes closest to me trusting completely.  I totally trust him on the ice which does translate into real life.  He knows most of my secrets too, so yeah, I think I actually trust him.  That’s scary.

3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
That depends on if they loved me too.  I am not a stalker.

4. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
No, I think shit randomly happens and fucks with my bliss.  Of course right now, I’m totally bitter about this whole “my coach is moving away” situation and am having trouble dealing with it, and I can’t see a good reason in the universe for this happening.  Except for his good reasons.  So I can’t see a good reason for it on my end.

5. Can you make a dollar in change right now?
I have the ability to make many dollars in change because I have all these jars of change that I haven’t bothered to deal with.  I’m lazy that way.  I gave my ex five dollars in dimes the other day.  He was like, “I don’t need to be paid back this badly.”  Hee.

6. Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor?
Oh gosh, that’s a toughie.  I think most of my friends would make lousy doctors because they like to go out and have fun and have a social life.

7. Are you afraid of falling in love?

9. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?
There are a bunch of people who randomly pop in my mind.  In fact, this morning, a girl I grew up with popped in my head.  I hadn’t thought of her in years.

10. What’s your favorite scar?
The one on my back is the most impressive.  It’s the one from a dog pushing me into a glass-topped table.

11. When was the last time you flew in a plane?
1998.  I hate flying.  I’ll have to fly to New Mexico a couple of times in the coming months, and then to Virginia for the competition.  I can’t think about it or I start to panic.  Thank God for Xanex.

12. What did the last text message you sent say?
It said, “Bite me (plz)”.

13. What features do you find most attractive in the preferred sex?
A great ass and a great sense of humor.  If you don’t laugh at my dorky jokes then you can fuck the hell off.  And if you don’t have a great ass, I’m going to have a hard time grabbing onto it during good times, and that’s just not fun for me.

14. Fill in the blank. I love ________.
not being under pressure to say what I love.  Oh, duh, I love my Munchkin!

15. What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
I’d like to talk D out of moving.  It’s not going to happen, but that’s my goal.

16. If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call?
My sister.

17. How many kids do you want to have?
The one I have is plenty, thanks.

18. Would you make a good parent?
Well, since I’m already a parent who makes at least forty-seven mistakes a day, I’d say I’m no better or worse than any other parent on the planet.

19. Where was your favorite picture taken?
I always like the Christmas picture that I do with my mom and sister.  We wear our Christmas jammies and sit with our legs to one side and lean on each other.  Since we spend our Christmases in alternating cities, it depends what year it was as to where it is.

20. What’s your middle name?
Renee, though that’s the name I go by.

21. Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?
Get ready for this: I don’t know if I can deal with my coach leaving.  It’s too hard.  I don’t want a new coach.  I want to toss myself on the floor and have yet another crying, howling fit.  I don’t want him to go.  I think maybe I’m too attached to my coach, but I don’t care.  I want him to stay.  There, that’s what’s on my mind right now.

22. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
When I was ten and I quit freestyle, I would’ve changed to ice dancing rather than quitting skating altogether.  If I had known it was what I’d end up doing anyway, I’d have started it much earlier.

23. Who was or will be the maid of honor/ best man in your wedding?
My sister.

24. What are you wearing right now?
Jeans, a white v-neck t-shirt, and a hot pink hoodie.  I’m also wearing a pink Dallas Mavericks hat.

25. Righty or Lefty?
It depends on what I’m doing.  I write right-handed, but I play golf and hockey lefty.  I can use scissors or eat with either hand.  Sometimes I accidentally pick up a pen with my left hand and start to write.  That’s when I figure out it’s all wrong.  I have to make the L’s with my hands when D tells me to go a certain way.  Then he makes fun of me.

26. Best place to eat?
I don’t know what it was called, but they had the best food I’ve ever eaten.  It was in Florida, and it was a baked potato filled with seafood.  I want it right freaking now!

27. Favorite jeans?
Well, I had this one pair that was my favorite until I dropped ten pounds, and now they look like shit on me.  They were Gianni Bini’s.  Now my Calvin Klein’s look best on me, though I have a pair of DKNY that look pretty good.  The problem is that I seem to have lost the weight in my ass and my boobs.  My boobs, people.  They are gone!!!  Damn it!  Anyway, clearly I refuse to spend a ton of money on my jeans.  Maybe if I’d spend a fortune, they’d look better.

28. Favorite Animal?

29. Favorite juice?
Orange juice.  I’d like some of that now too.

30. Have you had the chicken pox?
Yes, and I have two scars from it.  One is on my forehead.  I’m not saying where the other one is, but let’s just say you’d be able to see it on a nude beach if I shaved really well.

31. Have you had a sore throat?
I’m sorry, this question is dumb.  Who hasn’t had a sore throat?

32. Ever had a bar fight?
Uh, no.

33. Who knows you the best?
My sister.

34. Shoe size?
8 1/2 narrow.

35. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
Both, but not at the same time.  Although I have put my glasses on without taking my contacts out by accident, but you figure it out real fast.

36. Ever been in a fight with your pet?
I’m in one right now.  He’s eating my shoelace.

37. Been to Mexico?
No, but I lived in Puerto Rico when I was little.  Does that count?

38. Did you buy something today?
I went to Target, so I bought lots of things.  Mostly food and make-up.

39. Did you get sick today?
No, I felt sick from the wine I drank last night though.

40. Do you miss someone today?
Yes, very much.

41. Did you get in a fight with someone today?
No I didn’t.

42. When is the last time you had a massage?
I don’t get massages.  I think they hurt, so nobody’s allowed to do it to me.

43. Last person to lie in your bed?

44. Last person to see you cry?

45. Who made you cry?

46. What was the last TV show you watched?
Grey’s Anatomy

47. What are your plans for the weekend?
Well, the weekend’s over kids.  So I’ll tell you what I’m doing this week.  Tomorrow I’m skating.  Tuesday I’m skating and I have the hair show, then I’m going out that evening with my crazy hair and ridiculous show make-up.  Wednesday I’m skating, and Thursday I’m also skating.  I’ll have to do laundry and pack on Thursday as well because Friday, I’m going to visit my sister, yay!

48. Who do you think will repost this?
Adam did it first, so he’s out.  I don’t know.

49. Who was the last person you hung out with?
Anjelica at rehearsal for the show earlier tonight.

50. If your significant other asked you to marry them TODAY, what would you say?
I’d say, “*snort*, what are you talking about?  We’re not like that!  I thought we were just ‘hanging out’.  What the fuck???”

Pacer (see blogroll) did this a while back and tagged anyone who likes hot sauce.  I like hot sauce, so here goes.  You photograph five things in your fridge and talk about them.


1) This is my supply of Diet Big Red.  It’s very ugly here when that runs out.  It’s also ugly when the stupid fuckers at Target forget to order enough and I get there only to find no Diet Big Red.


2) This is my party beer.  The Coors Light is for J, and the nasty Papst was for Tony when he and Shana visited.  Now D drinks an occasional one.  Ick!  I thought the guys at the beer store were going to fall over laughing when I asked if they had it.  I was like, “I have this friend who has requested …”.  I’m sure they thought I was “my friend”.  D says he’s white trash when he drinks it.


3)  That’s my hummus – roasted red pepper flavored.  Yum!


4) This one is my juice and salad dressing.  The orange juice is what I drink first thing in the morning so I won’t pass out.  The cranberry and grapefruit are for vodka drinks.  Most of the salad dressing is expired because …


5) My vegetable drawer is completely empty.  So there is no need for salad dressing.  I kind of quit buying salad and stuff when I kept forgetting to eat it and would have rotting veggies in the drawer.  Nasty!


Bonus picture:  This is my dog in the vodka drawer.  There’s actually a bottle of Jager in there which he is licking.  Smart dog!

I hope this pics show up since Pacer couldn’t see the last batch I posted.

See blogroll for his site – it’s awesome!

Jessica Renee Ross

YOUR FLYGIRL/FLYBOY NAME: (first 4 letters of real name + izzle.)

YOUR RAP NAME: (first initial of first name, first three or four letters of your last name)
J Ross

YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color + favorite animal)
Red Cat (so somebody needs to explain to me how I have a Moose-Dog!)

YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (your middle name + street you live on)
Renee Irondale

YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your dad’s side, your favorite candy)
Phyllis Snickers (that one cracks me up)

YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (your first pet’s name + street you grew up on)
Fufu Brook Glen (uh, okaaaay)

YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name + first 2 letters of your first name)

JEDI NAME: (middle name spelled backwards, your grandmother’s maiden name spelled backwards)
Eener Nosrekcin

YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (second favorite color + favorite alcoholic drink)
Pink Seabreeze (that’s just gay)

YOUR ACTION HERO NAME: (first name of a main character in the last movie you watched, last food you ate)
Arwen Crackers (oh jeez)

YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (your parents’ middle names)
Jean Eugene (that’s ironic … somehow)

YOUR GOTH NAME: (black + the name of your pet)
Black Magnus (this is surely already a sex toy.  I’m going to hell now)

YOUR ARABIC NAME: (second letter of your first name + third letter of your last name + fourth letter of your middle name + second letter of your moms maiden name + third letter of you dad’s middle name + first letter of a siblings first name + last letter of your mom’s middle name)
Eseogkn (I feel this is my Eskimo name though)

Sorry, I’m not spellchecking this one.  It’ll underline freaking everything!

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