people are dumb

In the category of people are really weird, the following term was used to find my blog:

“mature ladies in cotton briefs,pics”

How that happened I cannot even begin to guess.  I’m pretty sure I’ve never written about mature ladies in cotton briefs, and I know I’ve never written about pictures of them or posted pictures of old ladies in granny panties.  Dude, that’s just sick.

I have many updates on the Man-Friend situation, but they’ll have to wait until later.  I’m getting ready to go to Anjelica’s so she can color my hair, yay!  I’ve got Jersey Skank-Ho roots right now and cannot face myself in the mirror.


I’m pissed … as if the title of this entry doesn’t make that loud and clear!  So yesterday, I was having a perfectly peaceful and lovely day until I was coming off the ice.  I was on the reserved ice, and the other side was a public skate.  I saw this guy who I at first thought was Mike, this one coach, but as I got closer I realized it was my ex-boyfriend.  Gross.  Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later since we skate at the same rink.  So that was the first little bit of disturbing for the day.

When I got home, I checked my email.  There was one from him saying that he’d be happy to take all my old hockey equipment off my hands as well as the Goodwill boxes.  Uh, what?  Why would he want my old hockey stuff?  Unless he wants to sell it, but shouldn’t that be my prerogative?  And anyway, there’s a girl at the rink that I give my old stuff to when I remember to take it up there and she happens to be there to pick it up.  So I don’t need him to “take it off my hands”.  God, that’s strange.  Secondly, and I believe I’ve ranted about this before, I am not a free storage facility for exes.  So the Goodwill boxes shouldn’t be here anymore.  They are, but that’s just because I’m too lazy/busy to take them to Goodwill.  But why would he want them?  That’s just fucking weird.

Anyway, I sat there looking at this retarded-ass email for a little while, trying to decide how to respond.  When I couldn’t think of a nice way, I decided not to say anything at all.  See Mom, you taught me well.  I settled in to watch last week’s Grey’s Anatomy when my cell phone rang.  Sure enough, it was him, so I didn’t answer it.  Then he texted me.  Jeez guy, get the hint!  I’m not talking to you.  His text said, “Did you get my email?”  Yeah, you stupid fucking moron, I got it, and I’m not answering it!  Quit bugging me!!!  I’m feeling totally invaded at this point.  I’ve come to a very serene place with my singleness, and I don’t want to be reminded of that waste of a relationship.  He was horrible to my son, so I never should’ve let it continue.  I learned a lot from it, mostly that I’m so freaking grateful that it’s over.  Actually I the most important thing I learned is that if somebody is an asshole to your kid, don’t date him.  The end of story.

I sat there fuming for about another half hour before I couldn’t stand it anymore and I had to reply to his damn email.  I told him all the stuff he was asking for was gone (I lied because I don’t want him coming over here to get it) and to please respect the request I made six months ago which was no post break-up contact.  Simple enough.  Well, not simple enough for him.  I checked my email this morning, and there was another one from him.  Apparently he can’t keep his fucking big mouth shut, and he has to have the last word.  Actually I’m letting him have the last word because I refuse to sink to this level:

“I will say this, and you can take it or leave it.  You’re going to wish one day that you didn’t shut me out, and when you want to talk, I’ll be here.”

Oh really!  I’m going to wish I didn’t shut him out???  I think not.  I had quite enough of his pearls of wisdom when he lived here.  He’s one of those people who thinks they know everything about everything.  It was so annoying and arrogant and … gak, I don’t know what else, but my shoulders are up around my ears right now from being tense about him being all like he is.  He makes my skin crawl and I regret every second I spent with him.  Gag.  He also said he didn’t really remember about the no contact thing.  So what does that mean?  He only sort-of remembered?  In that case, it still means don’t bug me.  And how could he forget me saying this when he left here the last time: “I don’t stay friends with exes.  It’s just not in my make-up.  I’m sorry, but that means I won’t speak with you again.”  And he said to the dog:  “Did you hear that?  Mommy thinks we won’t keep in touch?”  So yeah, he got it on that day.  He got it until it was inconvenient for him.

Aaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhh!!!!!  By the way, I have a very civilized relationship with my ex-husband, but only because we have a kid.  If we didn’t, I doubt I’d ever talk to him either.  What’s the point?   

Magnus likes to eat rocks.  WTF???  I understood when he chewed on weeds.  That made sense for a teething puppy.  But rocks?  And here’s the really weird thing – he rings the bell to go outside specifically to get a rock.  Yep, he rings, I let him out, he grabs a rock, and then he comes back inside.  I haven’t done anything about it because I don’t see the point.  He’s not swallowing them or anything like that.  He just gnaws on them and then leaves them all over the house (which is why I’m a little confused when he goes and gets another one.  Is he looking for a particular flavor?  Do they lose their rocky goodness after being sucked on for so long?).  I should mention that he has plenty of chew toys which he seems to enjoy, but every once in a while you can’t seem to beat a good rock.

Okay, in other news, I’m a little burned out skating-wise.  Summer sucks.  It’s hard to find a good session for adults too.  All of us are frustrated and skipping sessions because we’re so miserable on them.  Stupid kids!  We’re working on it though.  We’re trying to get our core group of adults to commit to coming for an adult freestyle session (which they’ll let me on since I’m the only adult dancer and I don’t have a partner) three times a week at lunchtime.  Once we get a certain number to commit, they’ll put us on the schedule.  They’re also talking about putting together an adult stroking class in the fall.  I really hope that works out!

My parents are all moved over to the new house.  So I don’t have to pack for them anymore.  I do, however, have to help unpack.  That’s fine.  I’ve always thought unpacking was easier than packing.  The really hard part of the job is listening to them bicker.  Holy shit, it is so annoying!  And it’s always over something really dumb like the Thanksgiving when my dad wanted to go to the store and get some lunchmeat (this was a few days before Thanksgiving).  My mom wouldn’t let him because she said there wasn’t any room in the fridge.  He said lunchmeat didn’t take up that much room.  She still said no.  This went on for eight freaking hours.  Back and forth and back and forth.  I very nearly went insane listening to it.  They did the same thing in the car this weekend when we went to visit my cousin who is dying.  She has untreatable brain cancer.  So for a total of ten hours, I had to listen to them bicker.  What I learned is that they both have to be right, and they both have to have the last word.  And that’s how you get two people who can argue over lunchmeat for eight hours! 

So on Tuesday when I went to the doctor for my ankle, we also talked about my birth control pills.  After having three months or so of breakthrough bleeding on my old pills when my former doctor decided HE (stupid man.  Stupid stupid man) didn’t want me to take them continuously to avoid my period (mind you, everything had been fine until he made this testosterone laden decree), the lovely new female doctor switched me over to the generic Seasonale.  And I had seven and a half more weeks of bleeding, only this was more like a light period than random spotting.  Seven and a half weeks is quite enough for me, thank you.  She said I needed to switch to the name brand Seasonale because the dosage is a little better.  So I was supposed to stop taking the generic, have my period (really now, will I know when I’m actually having a period versus what has been going on???), and then next Tuesday, start taking the Seasonale and that should stop the bleeding.  Great.  Sounds like a plan.

But then I went to the pharmacy today to pick them up.  They said the insurance company wouldn’t cover the pills until July 4 because it was too soon to get them now.  I told them the whole story of what the doctor said and all that.  They wouldn’t budge.  So I sat there, right in front of the drug wench, and called the insurance company.  They said that this should be treated as a new prescription and it should be covered, but that I should have the doctor call and tell the pharmacy this.  Fine, so I did that.  And the fuckers still won’t budge.  They’re doing all their filing on the computer and it keeps getting kicked back because they’re filing it as a refill.  So with me, the doctor, and the insurance company telling the ding-dang pharmacy to fill it as a new prescription, they’re still refusing to do it.  Yo assholes, it’s not a refill!  It’s N-E-W.  Idiots.

What the fucking fuck is that all about?  Meanwhile, I am insanely hormonal and about as bitchy as I’ve ever been.  This is nice.  Lucky people who have to be around me, I tell ya.  And now my damn dog is eating the remote control.  Fuuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkkk!!!!!!!  Good thing he’s so cute.

Okay, I realize that just a couple of days ago, I got on my soapbox about people being nicer to other people.  However, today I found this.  I am sorry, but it is lol funny.

I’ve been watching “Dancing with the Stars”.  What is wrong with me???  I guess what this means is that I am an average American.  Hunh.  Average sucks.

Anyway, I will offer my commentary on the competition thus far.  The results show has started, and I have to say if Billy Ray Mullet Man doesn’t go, then people are dumber than I thought.  He has not one iota of dancing ability.  So we’ll see how that goes.  Who has surprised me?  Well, Heather Mills has.  I think her leg can be totally taken out of the equation.  Laila Ali has been a surprise as well.  I guess I just didn’t expect much grace with all that bulk, but that just goes to show I’m stupid.  She’s a boxer, and boxers are graceful and quick-footed, so I should have expected her to be good.  She’s more expressive than I thought she’d be though, that’s for sure!  Oh, and John Ratzenberger – not the best dancer in the world, but he can sell it!  He’s very entertaining.

 I thought the basketball guy would’ve been better, but he’s been clumsy-looking IMO.  Maybe his height is an issue.  I dunno, but he should go after Billy Ray.  I also thought Shandi would be better, but she looks like one of those girls who is still trying to grow into her body.  She needs to own it!  I’d trade any day for that leggy body except that I would be way too tall for ice dancing then.  Leeza Gibbons … blah.

Overall, I am very impressed with the stars.  They did an awesome job of casting!  For the most part, they’re elegant,and you can see that they’ve worked hard and that they care about what they’re doing.  Oh, hey, that problem Joey has with sticking his butt out?  I do that in ice dancing.  Duke calls it teepee-ing or running away from him.  He tells me, “navel to navel!”  Eeekkk, that is such a personal space invasion!

Okay, some fun skating stuff.  I fell yesterday like Superman.  It was spectacular.  We were in a hand-in-hand hold during Swing Dance (for all the ice dance patterns, see getting ready for Duke’s mohawk, and I tripped over my toe pick.  Nice one!  I went *splat* on the ice right on my front and slid about forty feet.  I am battered from knees to bodacious tatas, and thank goodness for them since they acted as an airbag and kept me from smacking my face on the ice.  See, there is some good that comes from being behind on my diet!  Once I lose the rest of the weight, I’m not going to have anything up top anymore, and ack, I’m not looking forward to that at all.  Anyway, Duke turns around with this horrified look on his face and was all, “Oh my gosh, are you okay?”  Well, yeah, I was fine.  I’m a tough girl – I used to play hockey.  Now this sucked because I don’t get pads in ice dancing, but I’m not about to let a little fall stop me.  So I skated down to the other end and was ready to go again, but Duke needed three laps of talking before he was ready to go.  He doesn’t like it when I fall!  I’ve been very lucky with my falls so far – I always get up laughing, and not everyone can say that.  I hope I always can.  So today I got up to go skate, and I was checking out the damage.  I’ve got a swollen looking spot on my left thigh.  Yep, that’s what I want – a swollen thigh.  Awesome.  Then there’s a tiny bruise on my right knee and a medium one on my left ribs.  WTF???  My whole left side feels like a train wreck and I’ve got nothing to show for it.  I can’t even go to hockey people and tell them about my great ice dancing boo-boo and show them massive bruising because there is none!  It’s like when you feel like crap, but your mom doesn’t believe you because you don’t have a fever.  I learned at a very young age to heat up the thermometer on a lightbulb.  It heats up super-fast, so you have to be careful.  A slight fever is best so that you don’t draw any suspicion.

I took a cardio and core class tonight with one of the trainers at the rink.  I had to run sprints and run up and down the stairs.  Hello, I’m 37 years old!  It was fine though – I was only about a half-step behind on the sprints, so I felt okay about that (unless those kids weren’t running full-out, in which case I’m going to have to kick their asses!).  The core part was really difficult but I did all right.  The only thing that I just could not do for crap was this exercise where she had us sit under the ballet barre with our backs on the wall, hold the barre with our hands, then lift our legs straight up in front of us about six inches off the floor and beat our legs together.  That’s right, go ahead and try it!  Apparently, I don’t have that muscle.  All in all, I was very happy that I’ve been doing Pilates tapes at home! 

Back to TV – Billy Ray is not going home.  That’s it, America is officially full of idiots.  Of the current bottom two, Paulina and Shandi, I think Shandi should go.  Paulina has potential if she would just relax.  Dammit!  It was Paulina.  That’s sad.  Disappointed!  She probably wouldn’t have lasted too much longer anyway since there are some really talented people on the show though.

 All right, I’m gonna shut up now.  G’nite! 

So we were on our way to my grandparents for dinner tonight, five of us crammed into my mom’s H3 (and if I might ruin the suspense, thank goodness she got rid of her Camaro because this would’ve been REALLY bad otherwise), and while we were stopped at a light, this jackass rammed into us.  He was driving a Honda Odyssey (a really ugly minivan in a class of cars which are ALL ugly).  The Hummer won.  We barely had a scratch, but his car was totaled.  Everyone is pretty much fine.  My dad has gone to bed and his neck and back are sore.  My mom’s liver seems to be displaced (not really – she just said it felt as if it were not quite in the right spot anymore.  She had a liver transplant a few years ago.  Did I ever mention that?).  Kim and Jason are fine, but this was Jason’s first time in a wreck of any kind ever.  How weird is that?  I’ve been in seven or so, passenger or otherwise.  My throat hurts where my seatbelt hit as I flopped over (I was in the middle of the backseat and got tossed pretty good), and my neck is sore.  My head hurts too, but I didn’t hit it or anything.

Anyway, we got hit pretty hard because the dude didn’t touch his brakes.  Nope, the mofo was looking down and didn’t see us (this is the story he told the cops and I’m assuming it’s true because it is so very dumb).  I figure he was dialing his phone or switching CD’s or something.  He got two tickets, one for failure to keep a safe distance (that’s pretty ironic, eh?) and one for an expired license.  Fucker.

I’m about done with this week.  It has hardcore sucked ass.  I’m gonna go play with the Wii now.  That’s fun!  I wish I had one, but I better pay my damn taxes before I spend any more money.

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